Bloodlines

Why is it that ninety percent of the of the movies I've watched from THINKfilm have been so silly and so dumb? Pretty ironic, don't you THINK? Bloodlines is no exception.

First of all, it slanders southerners much like the recent Horrorfest III crap-fest, From Within. However unlike that bilge this is so un-serious that it only provides passing annoyance.

This was supposed to take place in Kentucky, so what was with the Confederate battle flags on the gas station wall and the dope with the rebel hat? Last time I checked, Kentucky wasn't part of the Confederacy. They were neutral in the war between the states like a bunch of Kentucky fried chickens!

Where did they dig up that woman in the skull shirt? She was off the charts obnoxious. Every time she opened her nasty mouth I got sick. It makes me wish the director could have arranged for Vince, the Sham-Wow guy to show up and slap her in the chops like he did that Miami prostitute. I would've immediately upgraded this to ten stars!

Finally, how unrealistic were the scenes of women being forced to fight to the death in that dirt patch? Didn't the filmmakers know that the proper way to force a lady to fight another lady to the death is to make them do it in their underwear on a well oiled tarp or in a kiddie pool. Doesn't everyone know that?

THINK next time, boys!