Sordid Lives: The Series

Roger: Oh, dear. This is a nightmare. A fuckin' nightmare.

Mrs. Barnes: Such language!

Noleta Nethercott: Am I hopeless, Roger?

Roger: Nobody is hopeless in my chair, sweetie. But you are very close. Oh, LaVonda, we have to talk about something. The Clairol company has discontinued Audacious Red.

LaVonda Dupree: What? Roger, how could you let this happen? Why didn't you stock up? I am audacious, bold, daring! I cannot live without Audacious Red! It is my signature color!

Roger: Well I don't own the fuckin' Clairol company! How in the hell was I supposed to know?

Mrs. Barnes: I do not have to listen to such filth when I am paying good money for your services, Roger!

Roger: Then why don't you crawl back over to the Winters Hair Port and let poor old pitiful Lila Walker, the oldest living beautician in the entire state of Texas, fry up your hair, then turn it back to Easter Egg pink, like it was when you dragged your bacon-eating, Baptist ass in here begging me to fix the fucking mess!