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And you won't care either. This is like a self-published book: it's free on Amazon and you shouldn't waste your time. No camp...no fun...and I'm pretty sure they got their money from a Mormon.

This movie was made in that gap between the death of home video and ascent of movie streaming. It was when Blockbuster, Netflix, and Red Box all existed and were all selling unknown commodities in packages that didn't allow you to preview anything.

It was when a digital video company could get away with some vaguely suggestive cover art selling a phoned-in movie. It should be a texted-in movie, but the movie wasn't even about texting.

That's the big plot point. It's not even a spoiler, because there's nothing to spoil. This thing was already rotten.