Wow
and to think that all of the movies in the After Dark Horror-fest would be somewhat, oh I don't know
enjoyable? Because of what I had to deal with this first film, The Graves,
well, it wasn't pretty.
The Graves, a miserable little turd fest of a film, is about two girls, Meghan and Abby, going on a last trip together before Meghan leaves for New York. They go to comic book stores (which, I'm sorry, these girls look like they've never set foot in a comic shop in their lives) and talk about how Lady Death is the most awesome comic book ever
.really? (And don't worry, this is only one of the many faults of this movie.) They then stop in a diner (which is so far out of the way that the first girl to die in the original Nightmare on Elm Street is stuck waiting there), and they're lead to Skull Mine, which is said to be a ghost town after some brutal murders took place there. And then, guess what? Everything goes to hell
what a shock
.
My first point is Brian Pulido. I should just stop there, but I'll guess I'll keep going. If you don't know who he is, he is one of the WORST comic book writers from the 1990s and the 2000s. He's responsible for writing such terrible comic books such as Lady Death (which I referred to before) and Evil Ernie. So when I heard he wrote, directed, and produced this piece of utter crap, I already knew it was going to be terrible. He doesn't have a clue what he's doing and he should stop thinking he can do anything creative.
And some of the acting in here is atrocious. You have your two female protagonists who can't act their way out of a wet paper bag. I mean, they have scenes where they are just SO melodramatic in scenes where they're in total danger! Also, you have Tony Todd
..really? Tony, why did you chose this? Did your wife need a new car? Did your daughter need more money to get into the collage she wanted? I mean, you were the candy man! Your cartoon-styled acting in this is so bad, that I almost broke down and cried.
Now, if there is anything redeemable about this film, it's that Bill Mosely (yep, Devils Rejects Bill Mosely) plays a guy called the "Pig Man", who is just a guy who puts on a fake pig nose and likes to kill people. I have to say that whenever he was on screen, a shimmer of light helped me get through this film.
But, all in all, there is almost (almost!) nothing to like about this film. It's not scary, it's not funny, it's not dramatic, It's not anything! And if it weren't for Bill Mosely, I would give this film a flat out zero.
