London Fields

One of the worst movies I've ever watched. Amber Heard plays a woman who has foreseen her own murder and spends the rest of the film trying to work out who her killer will be, apparently by ... shall we say "sleeping with" .... all the possible suspects.

I am writing this while half way through it and I already want to kill her myself. She sashays and vamps around valiantly, but cannot pull off the film noir vibe. Heaven only knows what Jim Sturgess thought he was doing. I would like to say he chews up the scenery, but I doubt his crack-head yellowed teeth would be up to the job. Billy Bob Thornton is, well, Billy Bob Thornton, only sleepier than usual. The only high spots are the few appearances by Johnny Depp as a cheerfully villainous Cockney gangster, but he is uncredited in the final product. One can only presume he did not want to be associated with this abomination.

Pretentious, badly acted, boring tosh. Total waste of a good book and almost two hours of my life! Awful. Absolutely awful.