Zokie of Planet Ruby

In a sudden move to try and bury this show, Nickelodeon dumps Zokie of Planet Ruby onto Amazon Prime Video with no fanfare on New Year's Eve. A dastardly business tactic, this makes passersby curious to look into the show to see if it's a hidden gem worth supporting. While I wish for nothing more than for that to be the case, Zokie is yet another abominable animated series from the network that once brought us hits like Hey Arnold, Angry Beavers and Avatar: The Last Airbender. From the atrocious writing to the abhorant voice acting, this cartoon makes YouTube Rewind 2018 look like Despacito!

Created by Brian Morante, Zokie follows the misadventures of a 10 year old girl named Ruby and her alien best friend as they make silly Internet videos in their local apartment complex. They're accompanied by a talk squirrel and Ruby's parents in their shenanigans. All the while, an egotistical puppy king tries and fails to capture Zokie. Right away we have our first problem with the writing: it's very premise feels jumbled together at the last minute. What purpose does Zokie being an alien serve for the cartoon? Why would it be so bad for the puppy king to capture him? And why would Ruby and Zokie, nevermind ANYONE, associate with a con artist squirrel? This jumbled mess of a premise was somehow enough to convince Nickelodeon executives to put it into production, yet not enough to give it a decent slot on their channel. It doesn't get much better in execution because this show is Cringe with a capital "C!" The dialogue is full of dated memes and Internet lingo, making this feel less like a timeless cartoon involving the Internet and more like a relic of a bygone era where the writers incorrectly assume that this is how people online talk. Worse still is the plots are so predictable, it's stupid. Just reading the titles for episodes like Pigeon Enemy No. 1, The Bolt Strikes Back and Lucky Charms tells you exactly how they're gonna play out. This makes the plots mind-numbingly slow and utterly pointless as they regurgitate lessons that have been taught before in cartoons and done better. The world building is also an absolute joke because they try to make the viewer believe that not a single person on Earth watches Ruby's silly videos online in order for Zokie to come into the picture. Maybe if this took place when she just started up her channel that could work, but after making dozens of videos for a decent amount of time, I call utter bolony! What really sinks this show is its humor, which is very groan worthy gross out coupled with lousy puns, weak slapstick and dull visual gags. The writing is nothing short of cringe, to the point where Fred's earliest videos look like screenwriting masterclasses in comparison.

I could not a single good character in this show, and that's not a very promising sign. Starting with our leading nuisance, Ruby is, get this, a stupid irresponsible girl who tries to fix her problems but ends up making them worst. If you're just now reading one of my reviews, this is my least favorite type of character because it opens the door for forced conflict and unnatural character interactions. She also never shuts up and is just so whiny it's pathetic. Oh boo hoo! Nobody watched your video 1 second after you uploaded it?! Cry me a freaking river! Zokie is a stupid, annoying alien who's personality begins and ends with his naivety to how life on Earth works. This is done to the point of flanderization here because he mispronounces common Earth words and never grows smarter as a character. Earl is a stingy con artist who only cares about himself, Dee is Ruby's emotional support blanket of a mother, Stan is the typical hasbeen Dad that's indecisive, and Tweekle is the show's designated spoiled brat that speaks in Internet lingo. Then there's King Pootywinkle, the main antagonist of the show. He is vain...and that's it. That's his character. No charisma, no backstory, no menace. He's just a vain puppy king that wants Zokie back because his pride forbids him from getting a life.

The voice acting is really bad here, not surprising considering the material they were given. Bahia Watson sounded very flat as Ruby, lacking the energy and enthusiasm to make her as eccentric and bubbly as she's supposed to be. Zach Reino never sounded right as Zokie as he just sounded so devoid of humor and wit. Cory Doran didn't really sound sly or sneaky as Earl, but rather petty and apathetic. Sabryn Rock and Joshua Graham didn't sound very enthusiastic as Ruby's parents as it sounded like they were just reading off their script. Ryan Beil didn't sound menacing or funny as King Pootywinkle, instead he just sounded like a middle aged man who didn't have his coffee and is now making it everyone's problem. Melissa Altro puts on this nasally influencer voice for Tweenkle and it just sounds so forced and unnatural. These actors aren't doing their talents justice with material and direction this poor.

Not even the animation looks right for what they wanted to accomplish. In another collaboration between Nick and Nelvana, the show looks rather off putting. The characters are designed with big heads with thin, stick figure bodies, as well as having white dots for pupils inside black iris. While having big heads is good for expressions, the actual animation is rather janky. There's a lack of snappiness to the flow for what they wanted to accomplish as the characters move on screen like they wanted to be both fluid like water and quick like a whip at the same time. This is especially the case when the characters are making their silly videos. The characters have really jagged movements and there's no real finess to the animation direction. The backgrounds look decent though, with the complex looking messy, lived in and expansive. You know there's a problem with the visuals when the only compliment one can give is in regards to the backgrounds.

Well that was a complete waste of resources! Zokie of Planet Ruby is a horrendous cartoon with cringe writing, annoying characters, bad voice acting, unfunny humor and mediocre animation. It was bad enough Nickelodeon tried to bury this show, but now I can't even say people are missing out. This show honestly should NOT have been picked up if they didn't want it and it's not even good! It more than deserves the worst fate to bestow on a bad piece of media: to be ignored and forgotten! Do NOT watch Zokie of Planet Ruby! It's not an underrated gem, it's an accurate representation of Internet culture, it's not even a decently made show! It's just a waste of time and resources that could've been better spend on an actual GOOD cartoon! -.-