Lovely, Dark, and Deep

Where do I even begin with this mess of a movie? There is so much that was poorly done about, I don't even know where I should start. It's like someone took an interesting premise, someone else wrote the most boring story surrounding it, and then you had someone completely different write the script. Disjointed, all-over-the-place storytelling that left you with more questions than you started off with, and that is never a compliment.

The first inclination that this was going to be a bad film was that it took almost 40 minutes before anything of note transpired. The initial 40 were spent with the lead wandering the woods, making her rounds as a park ranger, while also looking for someone. When the movie does get going, it's at a snails pace. I'm not joking when I say that for every minute something even remotely interesting is happening, there are 20 minutes of nonsense. Drone flying over the woods, the woods creeping upside down, trees, more woods, trees, trees, trees. That's the gist of this movie. It was almost like an advertisement for the National Parks, and this movie is probably less exciting than a ranger training video.

It's a movie that, the more you watched, the more you could tell that it didn't really have a firm direction to begin with. It was like a movie made by various people who didn't share their part of the story until the end, and the movie suffered greatly because of it. The last half hour I watched on 8X speed because I just couldn't be bothered to give this movie any more of my time.

I'm starting to notice a trend in these modern Hollywood horror films; every time a horror movies showcases any signs of D. E. I it's been awful, and you can throw this one right in the pile. It looks like the focus is on superficial elements that are more important than telling a decent story that people might actually enjoy, and that in itself is a real travesty of modern day Hollywood. I'm so glad that movies in the rest of the world aren't adhering to that nonsense. Hollywood really isn't worth the time or energy if they keep pumping out crap like this.

A total and complete waste of time. Please, for the love of all that is decent and pure, listen to me; your time is much to precious to spend it watching movies like these. Avoid this movie at all costs. It's just not good by any metric you throw at it.