First of all... the reviews here are all fake obviously. This movie sure looks nice and features some nice effects and slow motion sequences but thats it. I guess there was no script, they just went for it.
They had a creepy house and 2 basic ideas: " Hey, lets make the evil guys seniors with crutches" and "Nitroglyzerine is totally explosive and awesome, lets use that!" Thats it, there is no storyline. The movie starts with a guy and girl in a car, setting up some random story about a girlfriend captured through a guy from an internet chat and off it goes. They go into a creepy house, girl gets captured by evil seniors who lure in dumb internet-teenagers, guy is off to rescue her and his girlfriend.
The dialog is painfully dumb, luckily there is not too much of it although the movie consist of 90% nothing or nearly nothing happening in slow motion. Obviously the movie is heavily influenced by modern horror clichés and goes for some torture-cellar style way. But except for one ludicrous scene there is no real gore here, so its not the selling aspect. This is not a horror movie, its a comedy and I am sure of that because of these scenes: - Guy watches torture through a one-way window with a talk-back feature and gets freaked out when a senior listens back in to him so he has to be veeery quiet in one of the first ridiculous endless slow motion pseudo-suspense scenes of the movie. Its a senior by the way and those are known for their bat-sense listening powers as well as their calm hands (comes in handy later!).
- Guy sneaks into torture chamber and hides behind senior with crutches torturing his friend with boring questions. Obviously the senior is extremely dangerous because he has nitroglycerin and crutches... so the suspense is unbearable not just when he hides behind the senior but also when he has to remove a bottle of nitroglycerin from his girlfriend in slow motion.
- Guy finds his real girlfriend covered in nitroglycerin. Obviously she can't move and has to undress her drenched clothes very careful in slow motion with plenty of close ups and her friend watching with sweat dripping from his head.
- Senior with crutches chases them (in slow motion), girlfriend crawls faster and you wonder why she undressed in slow motion and doesn't explode now.
- If you think its laughable enough to have a crutched senior handling nitroglycerin and scaring everybody ... he also has a syringe with acid and he sprays it in slow motion. I have never been more terrified of a bad guy ever! - The guy who in many scenes has to handle nitroglycerin extremely cautious and slooooowly kills one bad guy by throwing a bottle of nitroglycerin at him... he THROWS nitroglycerin to make someone else explode... IN SLOW MOTION!!! There are scenes in here that are so ridiculous its hard to find words for it. I won't go into the pseudo-stories about some zombie slaves in the cellar or something about a secret service organization stealing dynamite crates or the random math questions they ask their victims. It makes no sense at all, nothing adds up. Those fragments are dropped in without any connection or sense and the movie ends as randomly and sudden as it began.
Its a shame they wasted the good slow motion cinematography and effects on this joke. If its a comedy I'd give it 4 points but as its obviously a horror movie 1 point is the sure way to go because the script, acting, dialog and music heavily counterbalance the good cinematography. There are many insanely idiotic horror movies out there like "Train", "Uninvited"... but in many decades of horror-stupidity "Sudor Frio" sure takes the cake.
