When did rambunctious rock and roll music replace collective and subtle horror movie synth and serve as the main source of suspense when something is happening? And for that matter, when did it become hip and fun to show dozens upon dozens of bare breasts and buttocks mindlessly in a horror film? Girls Gone Dead takes both of these things and incorporates them into a rather ordinary, yet interesting horror film, almost as if there is a good, successful film struggling to overcome the weight of the lukewarm one on top of it.
The story concerns Rebecca (Katie Petersen). a young woman who has been kept tied down with harsh restrictions and a tight religious upbringing by her mother. Rebecca and many of her friends, all of whom ex-cheerleaders, plan to vacation in Manatee Creek, a place where one of the girl's daddies owns a beach-house. When the girls discover Manatee Creek is a retirement community and there is almost no fun to be had. They get the bright idea to drive down to Daytona, Florida where celebrity Beetlejuice (played by himself) is filming "Crazy Girls Unlimited," a series where girls flash every part of their body in exchange for fifteen minutes of fame. Alas, there is a stalker who is repeatedly turning up in a red cloak and an ancient weapon straight out of a grim reaper novel, and the body count begins to start.
It takes the film a good hour before even a sign of a climax appears, but in the mean time, we are bombarded with shot after shot of gratuitous nudity. It wasn't long ago I saw Piranha 3DD, a film that had me wincing at the lack of intensity, depth, and interest. All those things had been traded for gutter-minded idiocy and unnecessary female nudity. I return to my original question; when did this become a regular addition in horror films to the point where few people address it anymore? Is it just assumed from the start that audience members who will eventually pay a nice amount of money to see a horror film couldn't care less about depth and structure but more about shallow and pointless nudity? When we are finally met with consistent kills, everything happens so fast, lacks credible suspense, and becomes no different than a number of slashers that already exist. When the film does start to get mildly deep and interesting is when dialog starts to come into play during the last act, but again, the film prefers to go the way of many other low-budget horror films. That way is quick cuts, no build-up, and relentless monotony.
The characters we are supposed to sympathize with are flyweight mannequins who talk in a way that perfectly mimics stuck up girls; with a sarcastic tone in their voice and a pause between every three or four words. The dialog is solely crafted either off of redundant swear words or miserably contrived efforts to be hip in such childish insults, uttered, again, by the flyweight mannequin characters.
Girls Gone Dead could definitely be rendered as an effective piece of horror by those searching for some cheesy escapism. More power to them and I wish them a pleasant evening of viewing. The film is certainly more surprising and a tad more interesting than most straight-to-DVD titles, not to mention, the special effects work is fitfully satisfying in some parts. Its problems stem from how easily distracted it gets with scantily clad girls, its lack of suspense, how long the entire thing takes to get going, and the indifferent methods it takes to try and engage the viewer. And don't get me started on the abundance of credit cookies the film breathlessly throws at the audience after the show should be long over.
Starring: Katie Peterson, Caley Hayes, Shawn C. Phillips, Ron Jeremy, Beetlejuice, Sal the Stockbroker, and Jerry Lawler. Directed by: Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells.
