Lumberjack the Monster

While this did have a few of Takashi Miike's signature moves (blood spurting like it was being shot out of a gun), it was probably the slowest, most excruciatingly painful dalliance ever put on film. It was a short-short that Miike dragged out to almost 2 hours with.insanely mundane shots and dialogue that added nothing to the story whatsoever. I honestly don't know what kept me watching it until the end. Maybe I was hoping something might actually happen--but it didn't. It's not a thriller, it's definitely not horror, it's barely drama, and I guess "crime" is the only genre it fits since it did involve a crime. Really bad. I gave it a 2 out of nostalgia for Takashi Miike's earlier work but it doesn't even deserve that.