Movies That Shouldn't Have Been Made
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- DirectorGus Van SantStarsVince VaughnAnne HecheJulianne MooreIn Gus Van Sant's remake of Alfred Hitchcock's classic, young female bank employee Marion Crane steals money from her boss in Phoenix, flees town, and arrives at Fairvale, California's rundown Bates Motel, which has secrets of its own.The original was amazing and you can't beat it, especially with a color shot by shot remake. The original was based on a book and it was even more violent and Norman was older and fatter, if this had to be made, then why not take that approach?
- DirectorRon HowardStarsJim CarreyTaylor MomsenKelleyOn the outskirts of Whoville lives a green, revenge-seeking Grinch who plans to ruin Christmas for all of the citizens of the town.I still watch the original special without barely thinking of this dragged out excuse for Jim Carrey to over-act and turn the Grinch into a loud goofball.
- DirectorLen WisemanStarsColin FarrellBokeem WoodbineBryan CranstonA factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run.I wouldn't even call the original out-dated since it still works and is everything this film isn't, smart, fascinating and....original.
- DirectorDan BradleyStarsChris HemsworthIsabel LucasJosh HutchersonA group of teenagers look to save their town from an invasion of North Korean soldiers.Teen girls might love the young male cast, which might be the only excuse tod anyone to see this. For a film based on a 1984 movie, it feels un-inspired and exists for no good reason.
- DirectorRaja GosnellStarsHank AzariaKaty PerryJonathan WintersWhen the evil wizard Gargamel chases the tiny blue Smurfs out of their village, they tumble from their magical world into New York City.One of the worst scripts of all time. Have they even seen the show? Apparently not since the sequel doesn't take place at the Smurf village either and is in Paris. I predict in part 3, they fight the war on terror.
- DirectorLawrence GutermanStarsJamie KennedyTraylor HowardAlan CummingTim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.
- DirectorTroy MillerStarsDerek RichardsonEric Christian OlsenEugene LevySet back in the 80s when Harry met Lloyd in high school where they cross paths with a mean principal and a bunch of other outcasts much like themselves.
- DirectorScott DerricksonStarsKeanu ReevesJennifer ConnellyKathy BatesA remake of the 1951 classic science fiction film about an alien visitor and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth.
- DirectorHarald ZwartStarsJackie ChanJaden SmithTaraji P. HensonWork causes a single mother to move to China with her young son; in his new home, the 12-year-old boy embraces Kung Fu, taught to him by a master.Like father like son, they should just find themselves original roles, although this actually could have been worse.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsWill SmithKevin KlineKenneth BranaghThe two best special agents in the Wild West must save President Grant from the clutches of a diabolical, wheelchair-bound, steampunk-savvy, Confederate scientist bent on revenge for losing the Civil War.Sorry to sound prejudice but just telling the truth, how many films have white people playing black roles? I can't think of many, can you. But hey, if they existed I'd have a problem with them as well.
Will Smith as a cowboy might have been fun in something else but in Wild Wild West, it seems to have been done for no good reason. - DirectorPeter BergStarsAlexander SkarsgårdBrooklyn DeckerLiam NeesonA fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.
- DirectorRobert KlaneStarsAndrew McCarthyJonathan SilvermanTerry KiserAfter being accused of fraud, Larry and Richard retrieve Bernie's voodoo-revived corpse to track down the money that Bernie had stolen and clear their names.
- DirectorBo WelchStarsMike MyersSpencer BreslinDakota FanningTwo bored children have their lives turned upside down when a talking cat comes to visit them.
- DirectorRod AmateauStarsAnthony NewleyMackenzie AstinPhil FondacaroDodger must confront the struggles of life as he is visited by the Garbage Pail Kids and intimidated by some older bullies.
- DirectorMichael RymerStarsAaliyahStuart TownsendMarguerite MoreauIn this loose sequel to Interview with the Vampire (1994), the vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires.
- DirectorJames WongStarsJustin ChatwinJames MarstersChow Yun-FatThe young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power.I always saw potential in a movie "just like I did with the Smurfs", but just like with the Smurfs they took the wrong approach.
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsLorraine GaryLance GuestMario Van PeeblesChief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.
- DirectorJohn BadhamStarsRichard DreyfussEmilio EstevezRosie O'DonnellImmature detectives Chris Lecce and Bill Reimers are joined by pesky assistant district attorney Gina Garrett in staking out a lakeside home where Mafia trial witness Luella Delano is believed to be heading.I loved the under-rated buddy cop film that is the original but this sequel is a bit un-inspired, hell it must be with Rosie O'Donnell added to the mix.
- DirectorJohn SchultzStarsCedric The EntertainerMike EppsGabrielle UnionWorking class New York bus driver Ralph Kramden is always coming up with get-rich-quick schemes for him and his best friend, Ed Norton, who's always around to help him get in (and out of) trouble.Read Wild Wild West, but will say white and black people should make a deal, you stay away from my roles and I'll stay away from yours but what black roles have white people played? Just saying...
Someone has to say it and not being mean, there is some talented people in this movie but why waste their time even doing it when they can do something original. - DirectorStephen HopkinsStarsGary OldmanWilliam HurtMatt LeBlancThe Robinson family was going into space to fight for a chance for humanity. Now they are fighting to live long enough to find a way home.A campy show gets an overly serious plot and wastes a talented cast while painfully mis-casting Matt LaBlanc as a macho soldier.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsRobin WilliamsDiane LaneBrian KerwinBecause of an unusual disorder that has aged him four times faster than a typical human being, a boy looks like a 40-year-old man as he starts fifth grade at public school after being homeschooled.
- DirectorFred SavageStarsCuba Gooding Jr.Lochlyn MunroRichard GantSeeking to offer his son the satisfying summer camp experience that eluded him as a child, the operator of a neighborhood day care center opens his own camp, only to face financial hardship and stiff competition from a rival camp.
- DirectorPeter HewittStarsBreckin MeyerJennifer Love HewittStephen TobolowskyJon Arbuckle buys a second pet, a dog named Odie. However, Odie is then abducted and it is up to Jon's cat, Garfield, to find and rescue the canine.
