watched in 2021
movies i watched in 2021 listed from most disliked to most liked; tv shows are listed separately at the end also from most disliked to most liked
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- DirectorKevin SmithStarsJustin LongMichael ParksHaley Joel OsmentA brash and arrogant podcaster gets more than he bargained for when he travels to Canada to interview a mysterious recluse... who has a rather disturbing fondness for walruses.i hate this fucking movie
- DirectorKen RussellStarsRoger DaltreyAnn-MargretOliver ReedA psychosomatically blind, deaf, and mute boy becomes a master pinball player and, subsequently, the figurehead of a cult.i hate this fucking movie.
- DirectorsMarc CaroJean-Pierre JeunetStarsMarie-Laure DougnacDominique PinonPascal BenezechPost-apocalyptic surrealist black comedy about the landlord of an apartment building who occasionally prepares a delicacy for his odd tenants.ugly ass stupid movie that i dont like i watched it with katie and we both hated it all it did for me was make me hate the french more every character has jaundice and ugly it looks like a wax figure stopmotion film in the most insulting way possible
- DirectorJim WynorskiStarsKelli MaroneyTony O'DellRussell ToddA group of young shopping mall employees stay behind for a late night party in one of the stores. When the mall goes on lock-down before they can get out, the robot security system malfunctions, and goes on a killing spree.this was horrible oh my god but i enjoyed it anyway. of course it followed the classic strict pro-abstinence rule of if you have sex as a teenager you die. the robots thing could have been an interesting commentary on something but they dont do anything with it. its just not a good movie but its entertaining enough, not entertaining enough though that i think i will ever watch it again. the one genuinely positive thing i have to say about it though is that the soundtrack is filled exclusively with certified bangers and its a crime that it isnt on spotify. i wish the whole movie were as good as its soundtrack
- DirectorPaul WeitzStarsJason BiggsChris KleinThomas Ian NicholasFour teenage boys enter a pact to lose their virginity by prom night.i didnt like this movie even if it made me chuckle a little bit. it didnt acknowledge how fucked up some of the shit is in it. hahaha funny statutory r*pe fuck you genuonely. wow LOL watch these guys emotionally manipulate girls into having sex with them this is so funny. haha look hes recording this girl changing without her permission that is so funny. wow objectification of women!! fuck you i cant stand you lol. whatever. maybe i just didnt think it was funny. the only good thing was that i watched it with moon, katie, chee, and christian and that part was good bc i love them <3
- DirectorDenis VilleneuveStarsJake GyllenhaalMélanie LaurentSarah GadonA man seeks out his exact look-alike after spotting him in a movie.this movie was fucking dumb and i didnt like it. i especially hated how the women characters are treated and i thought the plot and the writing was dumb and ineffective. i literally did not give a shit the entire movie i was more enthralled with peeling skin off my fingers than anything that happened in this film. also? the color scheme was so ugly. how many times do i have to say that piss is not a good color scheme and it will never be a good color scheme please for the love of god get a grip.
- DirectorJon M. ChuStarsAnthony RamosCorey HawkinsLeslie GraceIn Washington Heights, a sympathetic New York bodega owner saves every penny every day as he imagines and sings about a better life.this movie sucked balls i watched it with christian and megan after we watched luca and we all hated it. the range of experience was interesting bc christian knew nothing about it, i watched a bootleg of it once and retained limited knowledge, and megan is a fan of the original musical. the "usnavi all night youve barely even glanced at me dont make me laugh youve been dancing all night youve been shaking your ass for like half of the heights" line haunts me like a demon
- DirectorsJay BaumanMike StoklasaStarsRich EvansMike StoklasaJocelyn RidgelySpace Cop is the story of a cop from the future of space who travels back in time to the present and is teamed up with a cop from the past who is unfrozen in the present. Together, they must defeat evil aliens with a sinister plan.ok bruh i remembered this movie being really good when i watched it in de government but rewatching it not in de government with christian and katie, it was not good at all. it was not a good movie. i hate it here i looked like a clown for recommending we watch it together </3
- DirectorsGeorge DugdaleMark EzraPeter Mackenzie LittenStarsCaroline MunroSimon ScuddamoreCarmine IannacconeEight people are invited to their alma mater for their 10-year reunion, where a fellow former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is out to seek revenge.this movie fucking sucked it was like toxic avenger but only the bad parts about toxic avenger and worse. if me and MY friends were in a buildig with a killer we simply would beat them to death thats it rip bozo but were different
- DirectorsDon BluthGary GoldmanStarsHank AzariaKelsey GrammerAndrea MartinThe lovable bat Bartok (Hank Azaria) goes on his own adventure and meets a pink snake, a dapper bear, Prince Ivan Romanov (Phillip Van Dyke), and evil witch Baba Yaga (Andrea Martin) trying to rule all of Russia.this movie fucking sucked i watched it in between watching anastasia and tusk and it was like a sliding scale between excellent, Bortak the magnificent, and abyssmal. the stupid boob dragon transformation scene will haunt me forever. it was funny though bc apparently azure has seen this a bunch of times but didnt know that it was a spin off of anastasia.
- DirectorAsk HasselbalchStarsOscar DietzAmalie Kruse JensenSamuel Ting Graf12-year-old Pelle is bitten by an ant and develops superpowers. Aided by comic book nerd Wilhelm, Pelle creates a secret identity as superhero Antboy. When a super villain The Flea enters the scene, Antboy must step up to the challenge.rewatched at birthday party i hate this movie
- DirectorDavid Robert MitchellStarsMaika MonroeKeir GilchristOlivia LuccardiA young woman is followed by an unknown supernatural force after a sexual encounter.this was horrible i hate this movie. i was excited to watch it bc the premise was interesting but it just ended up being a weird horny straight person movie.
- DirectorDarren Lynn BousmanStarsTobin BellShawnee SmithAngus MacfadyenJigsaw abducts a doctor in order to keep himself alive while he watches his new apprentice put an unlucky citizen named Jeff through a brutal test.i hate this movie a lot it wasnt good. the fucking uh.. ooooo lets punish this guy for mourning the death of his son. go away. also what did amanda expect forcing that lady to do imprompto brain surgery on the guy. help me
- DirectorDexter FletcherStarsPaul BranniganGeorge MacKayKevin GuthrieTwo soldiers return home to Edinburgh to resume their romantic and family lives.this movie was bad i hate it and i hate the proclaimers but that one shot of leroy or whatever the fuck his name was taking a selfie in the war after he rejoined the military to feel wanted was so funny ill be damned
- DirectorDanny BoyleStarsHimesh PatelLily JamesSophia Di MartinoA struggling musician realizes he's the only person on Earth who can remember The Beatles after waking up in an alternate reality where they never existed.this movie was really bad. it was so bad that me and christian and blyth spent an hour afterwards still talking abt it. it was so bad. i hate this movie and i hate the beatles,
- DirectorChris MillerStarsAntonio BanderasSalma HayekZach GalifianakisAn outlaw cat, his childhood egg-friend, and a seductive thief kitty set out in search for the eggs of the fabled Golden Goose to clear his name, restore his lost honor, and regain the trust of his mother and town.i wish i could have broken humpty dumpty myself; watched with blyth and crystal at 4 am after i went to their room bc i was crying
- DirectorStephen ChboskyStarsLogan LermanEmma WatsonEzra MillerCharlie, a 15-year-old introvert, enters high school and is nervous about his new life. When he befriends his seniors, he learns to cope with his friend's suicide and his tumultuous past.maybe i would have liked this movie better if chee and i hadnt been laughing at dirty bubble fetish art the whole time
- DirectorVittorio De SicaStarsLamberto MaggioraniEnzo StaiolaLianella CarellIn post-war Italy, a working-class man's bicycle is stolen, endangering his efforts to find work. He and his son set out to find it.i dont know what happened in this movie i know he got his bike stolen but i was too distracted by the fact that we (me, Joey, Katie, and Christian) were watching it at 2x speed and it was making me laugh so hard there were tears in my eyes. im putting this above enemy and american pie bc of how hard it made me laugh the experience was so worth it
- DirectorKelly AsburyStarsJames McAvoyEmily BluntMaggie SmithSeparated by a garden fence and a feud, are blue gnomes on one side and red gnomes on the other. This doesn't stop blue Gnomeo and red Juliet from falling in love with each other. Do they have a future together?i watched this with blyth the first time since the year it came out when i watched it at ms tillers house while making props for our elementary school theatre performance. it was really dumb but i had fun:)
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsWill SmithBill PullmanJeff GoldblumThe aliens are coming and their goal is to invade and destroy Earth. Fighting superior technology, mankind's best weapon is the will to survive.i watched this with my parents for, you guessed it, independence day, and it was a heap of hypocritical nationalist garbage i could write a big essay about how hypocritical it was in terms of the united states history of imperialism. whatever, though, it was a stupid movie. will smith was ok in it, though, and i dont like him in a lot of things.
- DirectorsAsh BrannonChris BuckStarsShia LaBeoufZooey DeschanelJon HederA behind-the-scenes look at the annual Penguin World Surfing Championship, and its newest participant, up-and-comer Cody Maverick.i rewatched this with blyth. i forgot how genuinely funny it can be at times, but i also forgot how blatantly racist it is towards indigenous people in 3 whole scenes. its a movie about surfing penguins, man, you didn't need to do this.
- DirectorPaul Michael GlaserStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerMaria Conchita AlonsoYaphet KottoIn a dystopian America, a falsely convicted policeman gets his shot at freedom when he must forcibly participate in a TV game show where convicts, runners, must battle killers for their freedom.i watched this with blyth and it wasnt very good but now ive ordered a copy of the book its based on online so i guess im the real loser here. blyth pointed this out but there are a lot of oneliners in this that dont land bc the actors dont execute them correctly and it reminded me that arnold is like not a great actor his most famous role is him playing a homicidal robot for a reason i guess. whatever watching it with blyth was still fun. something i did really like was the obvious contrast between the brightly colored game show media vs the like... very muted industrial and military state stuff. this is one of the few movies ive watched and been like yeah this could really benefit from a remake
- DirectorSteven M. SmithStarsMatthew WintersPatrick KilpatrickTony FadilSet in 1971, Kris is sentenced to two years in a rural Borstal.i mean? it wasnt bad. it wasnt memorable either though the only reason i watched it is because i was trying to watch borstal boys but clicked on the wrong movie. i got an hour into it before realizing that the reason why the movie summary was so misleading is because i was watching the wrong movie. oops i guess. dont know how i missed that considering it had a title screen that said BORSTAL in all caps
- DirectorsCory EdwardsTodd EdwardsTony LeechStarsAnne HathawayGlenn ClosePatrick WarburtonLittle Red Riding Hood, the Wolf, the Woodsman and Granny all tell the police the events that led up to their encounter.this movie is fucking ugly and weird but you know what its a fun movie. i watched it with mary and christian and katie and it was fun
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsEmily BrowningVanessa HudgensAbbie CornishA young girl institutionalized by her abusive stepfather retreats to an alternative reality as a coping strategy and envisions a plan to help her escape.watched this with lucio and abby and i have no idea what happened in it. it was kind of bad but i mean it has girlbosses and cool looking guns why am i complaining.
