Something for the future (11-26)

by jessehof123 • Created 13 years ago • Modified 4 hours ago

10 BEST MOVIE/TV SERIES EVER!
9 awesome
8 great
7 good
6 almost...
5 not good, not bad
4 just plain bad
3 painful to watch
2 why?!
1 no thanks

DNF - Did not finish

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1. The ABCs of Death
20122h 9mNot Rated43Metascore
4.7 (21K)
A 26-chapter anthology that showcases death in all its vicious wonder and brutal beauty.
DirectorsKaare AndrewsAngela BettisHélène CattetStarsIngrid Bolsø BerdalIván GonzálezKyra Zagorsky
10/10 BEST MOVIE EVER! I'll level with you, I watched AND rated this when I was like 14, maybe 15 years old.
The shorts in this movie show you 26 different ways of spending $5,000 (that was the budget the producers gave each director). 75% of the shorts are varying degrees of OK, good, and awesome. And when a short hits, it hits hard. But that also means the other 25% is, unfortunately, absolute ass. You can't tell me some of these directors didn't just pocket the 5K and left the building.
In that case, how can this be a 10/10, you may ask? I am fully here for projects that give complete and total creative freedom to the directors. Those projects need to be celebrated, so that made me bump up the rating by, I mean, A LOT.
I've created four categories through which to rate the different shorts, I just didn't see another way to order my thoughts accordingly.

Why?
B
C
E
G
K
M
N
O

I'll Allow It
A
I
J
P
Q
R
W
Z (is that where rice comes from? I'll allow it)

Good, But Not Quite There
F
S

That's the STUFF
D
H
L
T
U
V
X
Y

Let's hope we'll get to learn our ABC's for a fourth time very soon.
2. Clown
20141h 40mR42Metascore
5.7 (28K)
A loving father finds a clown suit for his son's birthday party, only to realize that it's cursed.
DirectorJon WattsStarsAndy PowersLaura AllenPeter Stormare
6/10 almost...
3. +1
20131h 36mNot Rated60Metascore
5.5 (8.6K)
Three college friends hit the biggest party of the year, where a mysterious phenomenon disrupts the night, quickly descending into a chaos that challenges their friendships - and whether they can stay alive.
DirectorDennis IliadisStarsRhys WakefieldLogan MillerAshley Hinshaw
6/10 almost...
4. Proxy
20132h 2mNot Rated57Metascore
5.7 (4.5K)
The life of three parents who have all shared the loss of a child. Motives are not what they seem and sanity is in short supply in this thriller.
DirectorZack ParkerStarsAlexa HavinsJoe SwanbergKristina Klebe
5. The Conspiracy
20121h 24mNot Rated
6.2 (14K)
A documentary about conspiracy theories takes a horrific turn after the filmmakers uncover an ancient and dangerous secret society.
DirectorChristopher MacBrideStarsAaron PooleJames GilbertIan Anderson
6/10 almost...
6. Among Friends
20121h 20mR
4.4 (1.9K)
A group of friends get together for a murder mystery party, but things take a dark turn when one hijacks the evening and is out for blood.
DirectorDanielle HarrisStarsChris MeyerJennifer Blanc-BiehnKamala Jones
7. The Devil Inside
20121h 23mR18Metascore
4.2 (38K)
In Italy, a woman becomes involved in a series of unauthorized exorcisms during her mission to discover what happened to her mother, who allegedly murdered three people during her own exorcism.
DirectorWilliam Brent BellStarsFernanda AndradeSimon QuartermanEvan Helmuth
6/10 almost...
8. Scary Movie V
20131h 26mPG-1311Metascore
3.6 (80K)
A couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.
DirectorsMalcolm D. LeeDavid ZuckerStarsSimon RexAshley TisdaleCharlie Sheen
5/10 not good, not bad
9. Rings
20171h 42mPG-1325Metascore
4.5 (45K)
A young woman finds herself on the receiving end of a terrifying curse that threatens to take her life in 7 days.
DirectorF. Javier GutiérrezStarsMatilda LutzAlex RoeJohnny Galecki
3/10 painful to watch. Who brought this unnecessary piece into this world?
10. [REC] 3: Genesis
20121h 20mR45Metascore
5.0 (40K)
A couple's wedding day turns horrific as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness.
DirectorPaco PlazaStarsLeticia DoleraDiego MartínIsmael Martínez
8/10 great
11. [REC] 4: Apocalypse
20141h 35mR53Metascore
5.3 (21K)
An ill-fated television reporter is rescued and sent on a voyage across the ocean, but she is followed by the deadly virus that has plagued her and numerous others.
DirectorJaume BalagueróStarsManuela VelascoPaco ManzanedoHéctor Colomé
6/10 almost...
12. Zombieland: Double Tap
20191h 39mR55Metascore
6.7 (216K)
Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family.
DirectorRuben FleischerStarsWoody HarrelsonJesse EisenbergEmma Stone
8/10 great. A fine follow up to the 2009 classic.
13. Movie 43
20131h 34mR18Metascore
4.4 (117K)
A series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.
DirectorsElizabeth BanksSteven BrillSteve CarrStarsEmma StoneStephen MerchantRichard Gere
3/10 painful to watch. The cast is amazing, but there are 0 jokes in this.
14. The Woman in Black
20121h 35mPG-1362Metascore
6.4 (197K)
A young solicitor travels to a remote village where he discovers that the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals.
DirectorJames WatkinsStarsDaniel RadcliffeJanet McTeerCiarán Hinds
8/10 great
15. Hatchet III
20131h 21mR25Metascore
5.6 (11K)
A search and recovery team heads into the haunted swamp to pick up the pieces, and Marybeth learns the secret to ending the voodoo curse that has left Victor Crowley haunting and terrorizing Honey Island Swamp for decades.
DirectorBJ McDonnellStarsDanielle HarrisKane HodderZach Galligan
6/10 almost...
16. Prometheus
20122h 4mR64Metascore
7.0 (677K)
Following clues to the origin of mankind, a team finds a structure on a distant moon, but they soon realize they are not alone.
DirectorRidley ScottStarsNoomi RapaceLogan Marshall-GreenMichael Fassbender
7/10 good
17. The House on the Edge of the Park: Part II
1h 31m
18. Jeepers Creepers III
20171h 40mNot Rated
3.9 (26K)
Sheriff Dan Tashtego and a team of creeper hunters enlist the help of officer Davis Tubbs to help stop the monster's eating spree.
DirectorVictor SalvaStarsStan ShawGabrielle HaughBrandon Smith
4/10 just plain bad. If yelling was considered good acting then the actors in this movie would have gotten a lot of Oscars.
19. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
20131h 28mR23Metascore
6.1 (222K)
Brother/sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch-hunters who help innocent villagers. One day they stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past.
DirectorTommy WirkolaStarsJeremy RennerGemma ArtertonPeter Stormare
7/10 good
20. Chronicle
20121h 24mPG-1369Metascore
7.0 (271K)
Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery underground. Soon they find their lives spinning out of control and their bond tested as they embrace their darker sides.
DirectorJosh TrankStarsDane DeHaanAlex RussellMichael B. Jordan
8/10 great
21. Dark Shadows
20121h 53mPG-1355Metascore
6.2 (288K)
An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection.
DirectorTim BurtonStarsJohnny DeppMichelle PfeifferEva Green
7/10 good
22. Amityville: The Awakening
20171h 27mPG-1342Metascore
4.8 (16K)
A desperate single mother moves with her three children into the notorious, supposedly haunted, real-life Amityville house to try and use its dark powers to cure her comatose son. Things go horribly wrong.
DirectorFranck KhalfounStarsJennifer Jason LeighBella ThorneMckenna Grace
5/10 not good, not bad. The mom in this is unbearable and the Amityville story is just dead & done by now.
23. The Possession
20121h 32mPG-1345Metascore
5.9 (65K)
A young girl buys an antique box at a yard sale, unaware that inside the collectible lives a malicious ancient spirit. The girl's father teams with his ex-wife to find a way to end the curse upon their child.
DirectorOle BornedalStarsNatasha CalisJeffrey Dean MorganKyra Sedgwick
7/10 good
24. Shrooms 3D
25. Blair Witch
20161h 29mR47Metascore
5.0 (52K)
After discovering a video showing what he believes to be his vanished sister Heather, James and a group of friends head to the forest believed to be inhabited by the Blair Witch.
DirectorAdam WingardStarsJames Allen McCuneCallie HernandezCorbin Reid
7/10 good. Let's forget 'Book of Shadows' and remember this one.