Quotes

Have a nice day!

Bang Bang!" Owwwwww, have mercy!

I'm gonna make your ass the world's largest pin cushion!

"I know this may not sound cool, but Dewey and Noelle, this one's for you! Daddio did it!" (After winning his first WWF World Championship)

[To Randy Orton, about how Foley and Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock) lost to the team of Orton, Ric Flair and Dave Bautista (aka Batista)] "I'm very impressed that, in a three-on-two situation, you can defeat a Hollywood movie star and a writer of children's books".

[about getting knocked unconscious during Hell in a Cell] I had been knocked goofy countless times .... but this was the first time that a period of time elapsed and I wasn't aware of it.

Wrestling has become so good at creating the illusion of disaster that when disaster does hit, it's very difficult to tell the difference. Sadly, when Owen Hart died in the ring during a World Wrestling Federation pay-per-view, many initially thought it was just part of the show.

Eric Bischoff was the perfect heel. ECW fans hated both WCW and the World Wrestling Federation, but at least they respected Vince.

[about Ric Flair] When Flair is retired and fans are singing his praises as one of the greatest ever, I hope those same fans realize that, as a booker, this is the same guy who let both Mick Foley and Stone Cold Steve Austin walk away.

[about his infamous bump off the Hell in a Cell structure] I have never felt the need to exaggerate its height, because I feel the truth is impressive enough.

[about breaking down and buying a cell phone] I always used to hate guys with cell phones. But as their popularity grew, I realized I would have to hate an awful lot of people.

As a heel, part of The Rock's appeal was watching him humiliate people.

I consider the buildup to and execution of the Royal Rumble 2000 to be the greatest angle I've ever been involved in.

[about the insulting comments WCW commentators made the night he won the WWF Championship] Not only did their company come across like scumbags for insulting someone whom the fans held in some measure of respect, but they also cost themselves a hell of a lot of viewers.

[about Vince Russo leaving WWF for WCW in 1999] You can tell the guy's job wasn't going well by the number of times Vince McMahon was asked "Is Russo still secretly on our payroll?".

[about Vince McMahon] I find it ironic that the man who revolutionized sports entertainment [and] erased the stigma of fakery surrounding it... is the one guy in the company who feels compelled to become a wrestling character whenever a camera light turns on.

[defending the WWF against L. Brent Bozell III and the PTC] Mr. Bozell's pattern of speech is so singsongy, his mannerisms so robotic, and his inflection so devoid of any real human emotion that I find him downright spooky. Even more frightening is the fact that people actually send this guy money, and that they swallow the crap he feeds them.

(Observation, 2014) For me, the one-man show is a way of feeling the same high I used to feel in the ring - onstage, without getting hurt. So, even though it's a small audience, I really get the same gratification I used tho get after a great match in front of fifteen thousand people.

A guy in the second row was taking phone calls. Finally, after the third one, I said, 'Dude!' And he said, 'I'm a doctor'. Then he said, 'Just kidding'. At that point I said something like 'Oh, so you're not a doctor, you're just an inconsiderate jerk', although I said it in a far more creative way. At that point he told his girlfriend they were leaving. And she said, 'You might be leaving. I'm staying'. So they broke up on Valentine's Day. Which is kind of romantic.