Break Up Blues

Had Jonathan Morgan shot this Wicked Pictures rom-com a decade or so earlier, it might have been a fun 80-minute vehicle for stars like Devinn Lane or Stephanie Swift. Instead we get a very corny and unfunny vehicle for Samantha Saint that goes nowhere, yet runs over 2 and a half hours long.

She plays a newspaper columnist working for editor Kyle Stone (a brief, nothing role), but Morgan never pays off on this premise after laboriously setting it up. You see that she dumps boyfriend Xander Corvus after seeing proof he cheated on her (his cell-phone recording of sex with rock groupie Romi Rain), and Stone encourages her to use this inspiration for some strong newspaper columns, that never get written.

Maddy O'Reilly, one of Adult Cinema's best actresses at this time (though five years later she has retreated into mainly gonzo or trendy Lesbian porn roles), is delightful as Sam's roommate, encouraging her to get back into the dating game with a blind date or speed dating. Clearly giving director Morgan what he wants, Tommy Pistol pops up as an ultra-creepy blind date, proving once again his penchant for delivering a performance that is "so bad that it's bad" rather than the opposite.

Will Powers as an equally sleazy speed dater provides the usual extraneous sex scene, humping equally horny dater Carter Cruise in a public bathroom. Maddy in flashback gets to have sex with Erik Everhard, overacting as a blind guy who she calls Jeff, though Morgan's end credits list his character as Jerry.

Very, very predictably Saint eventually hooks up with her new neighbor James Deen, sleep walking through his role, and the movie simply ends with his money shot.

It's a claustrophobic shoot, with oft-seen Wicked stock footage of exteriors inserted for transitions between scenes. Spotting bit parts (uncredited) for Kiki D'Aire and Dick Chibbles as speed daters and Chad Diamond as the manager of the Speed Dating service are the only things that almost kept me awake and attentive.