Jessie Loves Girls

After watching this Sweetheart Video tribute to Jessie Andrews, I noticed it had won an industry award for one of its four segments. I was not impressed, with that segment or the other three.

Problem is that busy director Dana Vespoli, who has inherited the mantle of cranking out lesbian features like clockwork for Sweetheart after the departure (for her own various start-up labels) of co-founder Nica Noelle, does a workmanlike job on these projects but sans inspiration. This one was disappointing because even though Dana takes a Writing credit, the two hours consists merely of interviewing Jessie redundantly on why she chose each girl to work with, and then just impromptu humping. There are no story lines or role playing assignments, just lesbian sex out of context.

I realize that fans, as well as those industry bodies that create and dish out meaningless awards (to individual scenes -ridiculous) only care about sex in all its wonderful forms - the chemistry between the performers, the energy, the explicitness, the turn-on, etc., etc. Going back to my earliest days as a film buff, I require more, a whole lot more, than mere gonzo content. Unless you're a lazybones, and Dana is far from that, just going through the motions (literally) as occurs here, is not enough.

Particularly annoying is a crash course here in plugola, with everybody, especially Dana and Jessie, constantly name-dropping "Spiegler," repeating endlessly how all 5 actresses on screen are "Spiegler" girls. These cryptic (for me) references had me wondering what all the fuss was about, until finally it was divulged that Spiegler (Mark) is a talent agent, sort of the 21st Century equivalent of porn's all-time most famous guy in that slot, Jim South. Regarding Mr. Spiegler: BFD.

Not to disparage the actresses involved, the whole thing hit me as just another payday for already busy actresses. In fact, they are simply themselves, hired to f*ck Jessie Andrews, and doing so with skills acquired through hundreds of previous Adult Entertainment gigs. Carter's lauded segment has Cruise on top, with some tribbing and basically routine sex filler. Award-worthy? Hardly. I won't be telling my grand-children about this great moment in porn history.

Opening segment indulges one of Vespoli's favorite tricks, which was recently on display (and met with my displeasure) on her venture into documenting the transsexual scene in "TS, I Love You". This is the auteur's habit of pretending to be ignorant or basically in the dark about something the audience knows full well is completely disingenuous on her part. Dana DeArmond is driving Jessie to their appointed gig to be filmed by Dana for this particular "Jessie Loves Girls" project, and they clown around in the car, shot like one of those "Car Seat Karaoke" segments on James Corden's late night TV show.

The duo decide to have sex in the car on the way to see Vespoli and DeArmond comically even texts the other Dana to warn her they might be a little late. They have sex in and next to the car, basically a "sex in public" type stunt, and this entire incident is shown to us as the first vignette of Vespoli's released video. We know Vespoli and her trusted crew are there shooting this, so the "let's pretend" that they are playing hooky and indulging themselves before punching the clock and showing up on set for Dana is a typical Vespoli pact with the audience to ignore what's really happening and go with her flow. Once more, the resemblance between porn of this type (gonzo mainly) and Vince McMahon's fantasy world WWF/WWE of rassling is evident - you either believe whatever malarkey is being presented to you, or tune out.

Most notable segment is not DeArmond's or Cruise's but rather the finale with Bonnie Rotten. With Jessie fingering her the tattooed lady goes into her patented Squirting mode repeatedly, sending liquid fountains up in the air for a certain set of fans' enjoyment. Again, like WWF/WWE, this symbolic "female orgasm/ejaculation" is all phony but has become accepted as real - not the Golden Shower or stored water substitute for urine equivalent that it really is. Just as in a recent Squirting spectacular for lesbians titled "The Turning" starring Adriana Chechik, Jessie as partner carefully avoids the liquid drenching, allowing Bonnie's output to fall on Rotten's body instead. In "The Turning", Tara Morgan steered clear of Chechik's effusions, while ironically it was none other than Carter Cruise who gleefully was covered in wetness many times over. (Dana Vespoli co-starred in "The Turning" as well -small world.)

Final "Spiegler Girl" on display is Jodi Taylor, always a quality performer but clearly better off in storyline assignments.