Storm of Kings

While objecting to the porn parody (ripoff) movement in general, I enjoyed Dick Bush's "Storm of Kings", a takeoff on the hit "Game of Thrones" that plays pretty well, and is smartly slotted under the big-breasts-banner of Brazzers for release. Bush has a way with a low budget, and the film delivers the atmosphere to make the standard sex scenes interesting.

One problem, unlikely to deter the interest of other fans, is the miscasting of Peta Jensen in the lead. Just as in the traditional star system of Old Hollywood (and still prevalent in other nations ranging from France to India), Peta is Brazzers' #1 (if only) contract star, so she traveled to England with this project. However, she doesn't even attempt an accent in this period piece, and during her sex scenes instantly reverts to an anachronistic Chatsworth mode of pornspeak. The "F*ck, yeah!", "Right there!" and similar gutter language epithets don't fit at all and take us from this fantasy world to 21st Century Porn.

Rest of the cast is fine, starting with an effectively hammy villain as King Jasper played by a looking-perfect Ryan Ryder. His real-life wife is aboard as a sex slave for arousing opening sex threesome with Ryan and the incomparable Anissa Kate.

Nominal hero goes to Brit Porn stalwart Marc Rose as John Doe, out for revenge after King Jasper has his mother and brother's throats slit at a banquet. Seems that Ryder is miffed at bro' s decision to get married without royal permission, and is loath to allow anyone to challenge his absolute power over his dominions.

Bush includes some brief action scenes and effective dollops of gore (for beheadings and such) while maintaining a healthy emphasis on XXX content. One interesting motif is that two of the four lengthy sex scenes are threesomes in which one girl has natural big boobs and the other the once-fashionable fake big ones. So, respectively we get Kate & Jasmine Jae, followed by Aruba Jasmine and Peta Jensen. Aruba is the least familiar star, but I enjoyed her work in several films released by England's Harmony Films and JoyBear labels.

Also making his presence felt is Rob Diesel as Coral Drogus, a huge barbarian whose body-builder physique is enhanced in this role by his elaborate tattoos which, for once, actually fit the medieval role -almost like Maori body paint. He's the lucky lug who gets to hump Aruba, playing Princess Jensen's hand maiden, and Jensen as well. Final sex scene has Jensen humping Rose to show up their prisoner Ryder after forcing the King to agree to marry her, or else, setting up a fun surprise ending. It's an open ending inviting sequels.

A few seconds of what looks more like stop-motion animation but is probably just CGI provides the fantasy element of Jensen's dragon, a motif that might have been expanded had budget permitted, and if this were not after all an Adult video, where sex, sex and more sex is all important.

Several actresses have important non-sex roles, particularly a waif playing Susan, John Doe's sister, but as usual they get no credit and remain unidentified.