Traffic Violation

The mysterious company (only listed in the fine print during the copyright crawl on the DVD) Real Useful makes hundreds of ridiculous porn features to insult the intelligence, usually static in nature (it's called "moving pictures", clowns!) like their Massage Rooms or Dane Jones labels' output. Worst of all is their endless stream of "Fake Taxi" vignettes, repeating over and over the exact same idiotic Reality- TV situation of a corrupt cabbie preying on his femme customers. HBO had a benign but equally dull series about taxicab confessions years back but this crap is all the same: fake, fake and more fake.

So in segments shot in either London or Prague (the latter spoken in Czech with English subtitles) we suffer through the same exercise in misogyny. Old cabbie whose face is censored out of the picture engages in mindless patter with his fare, then catches her somehow in a compromising position via hidden camera in the cab and then blackmails her ("I'm loading the photos onto the internet") into either giving him a blow job or full sex in the back seat.

This is not merely claustrophobic amateur porn but simply ridiculous and anti-entertaining, perhaps aimed at a generation that thinks idiocy like TMZ has made for a better world. The gals hover between possibly amateurs signing off for a buck (I doubt this seriously) and obvious pro sex workers/"models", like a British woman with huge tits who must have been a stripper at some point - I couldn't recognize her from any Brit Porn films.

One genre and set of videos to avoid at all costs.