(** out of *****) The titular `house' only appears in the last ten minutes or so of this overly familiar, early-'80s horror flick. That detail aside, this movie isn't the worst of its kind (that would be "Hell High"), but it's also far from the best. If you can make it past the interminably long carnival scene -- with a group of young, vacuous girls and hunky, meat-head guys walking around making jokes and playing games -- you'll get a few so-so chills and thrills (and mostly off-screen machete murders) once the gang winds up in the cemetary to tell ghost stories (the lead heroine tells a lousy version of the classic urban legend about the girl who's home alone and thinks that's her dog under the bed licking her hand.) Other than a decapitated head or two, there's more nudity than gore, including an interesting, role-reversal shower scene in which a man is stalked in his apartment while taking a shower. There's some minor backplot and attempts at character development, but there are also gaping plot holes and a weak attempt to make the killer's identity a mystery (you should have no trouble figuring it out.) The film quality's pretty crummy, and the out-of-place, Sesame Street-sounding soundtrack is one of the worst I've ever heard.
HIGHLIGHT: Speaking of the soundtrack, if you do happen to run across this movie at the video store, go ahead and rent it solely for the opening credits sequence -- the music that plays over this sequence is so hysterically over the top that you will not believe it. Listening to this ludicrously epic music play over slow-motion scenes of dead bodies floating underwater was a surreal experience. I had to rewind it and watch it over three or four times. Seriously, some underground techno or indie-rock band needs to find this movie and sample the soundtrack. It blew me away. Of course, drinking helps.
