For Fans of bad movies, Amazon Prime is a gold mine. The vast majority of the selections go from the ridiculous to the redonkulous, including Bloodlock, Breeders, and Night of the Demon (a personal favorite). I added Lethal Ninja to my watchlist hoping for the David Heavener vehicle featured on Best of the Worst. It wasn't. Oh Lordy it wasn't. I was roughly five minutes into it when I heard my doorbell ring. I thought it was the ringing in my head (watch the movie and you'll understand), but it persisted. I opened the door, and there stood Miss Watson exclaiming "Face it, tiger! You just hit the jackpot." Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh Hell yes! If Amazon Prime is a schlock mine, I just hit the motherlode.
Two "actors" pretending to be Michael Dudikoff and Steve James go to Africa(?) to rescue not-Michael's wife from the clutches of Dr. Evil if he were played by the child of Sigfreid and Roy. Instead of going "plot point" by "plot point", I think I'll just state what the "film" has going for it.
A Fake Nostradamus prophecy about a savior from the east, who comes from the west.
A ninja who feels it necessary to teach people how to breathe. It's difficult, I know.
The most effeminate yet clichéd villain I've ever seen, down to the monocle and black cigarette holder.
The Carousel of Carnage.
A song that reminded my of my acid reflux disease.
The Roller Derby of Death. Should this film ever catch on, this scene will be up there with the popcorn scene in Troll 2 and the horny nurse scene in Samurai Cop. It's that incomprehensible.
A hapless ninja who get belted in the face with the backblast from a rocket launcher. Not intentionally.
The Waterslide of Slaughter.
Acting that can best be described as a cry for help.
So much non-medy that Rich Evans will kill himself.
Lastly, a plot that's harder to follow than Miami Connection.
Lethal Ninja is amazing. I just watched it, and it's already one of my favorite bad movies. I wanted to give it ten stars, but I thought that would be misleading, so it's bottomed out. Just like the alcoholics who made this.
