Right. First, lets discuss Proteus's good points...........Now that's out of the way lets discuss its BAD points. I thought films were supposed to have plots? Am I wrong, are The Silence Of The Lambs and Seven and The Usual Suspects, not films? Are films simply supposed to be a load of random images, designed to bore you rigid? If Proteus is anything to go by, then they are. The plot of Proteus is: Drug dealers go onboard an oil rig. There is a monster there. Some of them die. Some escape. That's IT. No riveting subplots, no amusing witty dialogue with which the film can redeem itself. This film is APPALLING in every conceivable way. The script writers have stolen every idea from every horror flick you ever saw, but the director has handled their material in such away as to remove every grain of suspense or horror. This film COULD have been dragged into the heady heights of mediocrity, is the actors had any talent to speak of. But the lead's (Craig Fairbrass) inability to sound anything other than a cockney wideboy, and his complete and chronic lack of charisma, throw THIS feeble idea firmly down the toilet. It turns out that the monster that is killing some of the drug dealers on board the ship is a shape shifter (that's handy guys, now you don't have to pay any money for a monster suit), invented by some scientists (supposedly brilliant, but haven't they learnt that genetic experiments in secret laboratories always end with disaster?). When the first scientist marches in and says "I am Dr Soames" in the worst German accent ever committed to screen, all that is missing is the boos and hissing from the kids in the audience. And surely, people in films like this, fighting genetic experiments gone horribly wrong are supposed to be heroic? The script and the acting are both so appallingly bad that you want every single character to die. In incredible pain. The film tries to redeem itself at the end with an explosion (wow, that was good. There was an explosion in "Leprechaun", for Christs sakes) and the appearance of the monster in its real form. It's a rubber shark. Ooh. Don't get too scared. I can't remember what happens at the end of "Proteus". But I don't care. I knew I wasn't going to care while I was watching it. To this day, I still want the people behind "Proteus" to give me an hour and a half of my life back, so I can use it for something useful, like watching grass grow in my back garden. I hope the rubber shark doesn't get me. I give this a generous 0 out of 10.
