Spoofing the Siskel & Ebert type of TV shows about movies, this Gary Graver stinker makes fun of haughty critics and crappy porn movies, while of course falling squarely into the second category. The exercise is pointless and boring.
Honey Wilder and softcore veteran John Alderman play the critics, sitting in an otherwise empty movie theater to pontificate on random scenes no doubt shot for this feature, rather than just recycling old loops. First insult is a review of "Ace in the Hole", an unfunny chance to spoof film noir but shamelessly using the title of a real Billy Wilder classic in the process. Graver undoubtedly knew of the Kirk Douglas movie, but decided to ripoff its tite anyway. Second clip is a ridiculous Pee-Wee Herman ripoff using humans as puppets having sex rather than having puppets isnteade of humans.
"Chinatown Secrets" exploits the Frisco pics featuring Asian-American talent, in this case superstar Mai Lin. It gives the critics a chance to argue about the importance of story in porn, as usual belittling anything other than sexual content.
"The Intruders" provides a Kari Foxx threesome, having sex while serving detention in a diner (!). Tom Byron makes a wisecrack as to how old Mick Jagger is getting, a bit ironic when watching this several decades later when Mick is now legitimately old at 80! The joke's on Byron of course, since he and Jerry Butler were already too old playing high school students as usual.
"Great Strokes, Lord of the Jungle" is a poor sketch satirizing the movie Andie Macdowell would rather forget, this time starring Alexis Greco. "The Return of Billy the Kid" provides another threesome, okay performers like Shanna McCullough definitely not styled for a Western.
Of course, even the fake critics can't take seriously a so-called elevator film titled "Going Down", an 8-person orgy by folks trapped in a stalled elevator, bringing Kari Foxx back.
Asinine about sums this feature up, reminding me of intentionally poor porn closed "chasers" (to chase out the bums who would sit through movies all day) when I went to Adult films back in the day, a mere four or five decades ago.
