Thanks to the enormous success of rudimentary teen slasher flicks like "Friday the 13th", and low-budget gore movies like "The Evil Dead", many horror-crazed amateurs during the first half of the 1980s thought it was also their true calling to become directors. This resulted in several titles written, directed, edited, and produced by one single person. Mostly, though, that one movie remained their sole effort. This review is a tribute to all those "one-hit-wonder" horror directors.
In fact, "wonder" is a wrong term to use, since practically all the titles I'll mention are terribly bad and poorly accomplished movies. Still, though, they are great fun. The one-hitters I spontaneously think of are Joe Giannone's "Madman" (1981), Buddy Cooper's "The Mutilator", Fabrice-Ange Zaphiratos "Blood Beat" (1983), Skip Schoolnik's "Hide and Go Shriek" (1988), and - of course - our mean feature for today, L. Scott Castillo Jr. And his 1984 masterwork "Satan's Blade".
L. Scott Castillo Jr. Didn't necessarily have any bright or innovative ideas, nor did he have any money, but he assumed it was his duty to make a slasher movie anyway. And believe it or not, but the first ten minutes are even quite enjoyable. Two female bank robbers run off with their loot (after gratuitously killing a few bank employees) to a cabin resort in the snowy mountains. They strip off their clothes, obviously, but don't live very long after that. The next day, while the local-yokel police officers are still cleaning up the bloody mess, two groups of tourists arrive at the same holiday resort. My favorite part of the entire film is how, after hearing the bloody details of the murders that occurred the previous night and a disturbing local legend, both groups still carelessly (and unanimously) indicate they want to stay.
It's mainly pointless padding footage after that. One of the males receives the opportunity to cheat on his wife with a woman ten times more beautiful, but he resists. The men drink. The single women strip. The married women complain. 40% of "Satan's Blade" is composed of footage of people randomly walking through the snowy landscape whilst wannabe ominous piano music is playing. Suddenly, the assailant from the opening sequences returns and eliminates everybody quite quickly with a blade. Is he a supernatural creature, like hinted at by the elderly resort owner's mother, or an ordinary flesh & blood killer?
Yes, it's one of the most pitiable slasher movies of the decade, but I have a weakness for this film (and other sole-effort-slashers of the aforementioned directors) and enjoyed the amateurism and pointlessness a lot!
