A Armadilha

One day, a young girl - let's call her 'Deep and Dependable' - wants to go on a road trip to get the plot moving. She decides to take along her five friends, 'Nerdy and Helpless, Slutty and Blonde, Macho and Ripped, Stoned and New-age and finally Rich and Unlikeable' (Token Ethnic was unfortunately not available to come with them as he was still working in the off license at the beginning of the movie).

However, their van breaks down within minutes of their journey beginning (Rich and Unlikeable even remarks, "Hey, I think I can see my house from here!"). Therefore the first thing they decide to do is hitch a ride with a truck driver who has come straight off the set of Deliverance. He, in turn, deposits them in an abandoned building filled with vampires. And, to make matters worse, they're not even the nice Twilighty vampires who are really well-preened and twinkle a bit in sunlight.

No, these vamps like nothing more than to feast on the flesh of one-dimensional clichés. And so the hunt begins... expect a mish-mash of From Dusk Till Dawn and 30 Days of Night. It's shot as if the cameraman is constantly bouncing up and down on a trampoline. By the end of the film I was shaking my head from side to side in an attempt at keeping up with the shaky camera movement.

It's not a long film. Stereotypes aren't natural fighters - they only have badly-written dialogue to fend of the ghouls with. Vamps have teeth. I know which one I had my money on.

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