Love at the Lodge

I cant quite explain it. Its like the most bland, mediocre, nothing-burger of movie I've ever seen, and yet it hurts to witness. It's like the movie equivalent of a walking corpse, imitating life poorly, and dipping right into the uncanny valley.

The actors aren't particularly bad or good. I think they read the lines they were given well enough. Its not their fault the story is mind numbingly cliché, and yet also feels like it was written by an alien who learned about humans by watching a single hallmark romcom on a turbulent delta airline flight next to a screaming child.

The camera work is far too high definition for its own good. I can see every actor's individual pores, ingrown hairs, acne, and sweat. Its like they tried to compensate for the lack of talent with higher quality cameras, but instead it just highlighted every flaw and cringe in 4k ultra high def 60fps under hot studio lights.

I cant quite put my finger on it, but something about every scene made me uncomfortable. Maybe it was the sterile, empty, corporate backdrops, or the wooden actors, or the unrealistic pacing, but I felt the film chipping away at my soul every second it held my gaze.

The story is too bland to even mention, so I wont.

I just couldn't bare that the only 2 reviews in existence for this movie were positive when it hurt me so badly.