Slippery Massage

You know it's old material, as Barrett Blade directed 2 of the 3 vignettes on this DVD, long-since departed from the employ of Bree Mills' Fantasy Massage label. (BIlly Visual directed the third.)

Billy's contribution stars masseuse Kendra Spade, caught masturbating by her customer Jay Smooth, who then gets the full treatment for her. Like the other scenes, this was "written" by house hack Lucy J -a non-story.

A really dumb scene features low-grade male talent. Crew member Big Chief Quarterblack (Bree always credits him on-screen spelled Quarterback, invading Tom Brady territory instead of adhering to his archaic and racist original stage name aka quadroon) brings young T. Stone to MILF masseuse Sarah Vandella for a massage present honoring his engagement. Sarah gives him sex in addition to the rubdown, explaining that she's only his "step-aunt" so that's okay. Ugh!

Another Blade clunker has Alison Rey sexually servicing her stepbrother Dylan Snow (a porn stud with a spotty career), a chance to inject Bree's other favored porn gimmick: faux incest. I noticed this time that Alison, with a bangs hairdo, closely resembles former TV star Pauly Perrette of "NCIS" fame, minus the goth overlay. Apparently the porn brain trust behind all those awful parodies missed the boat on an NCIS XXX project with her.

Here's another thought: in Bree-land the massages cost $200 a pop, since they represent prostitution, not therapy. That's about the cost of a 5-minute Metro NYC helicopter ride from Blade the aviation company, so perhaps Barrett should be directing those annoying TV commercials for same starring Liev Schreiber! And maybe they could throw in a quick hand-job in flight for that kind of money.