The Dead Want Women

OK, given the title of the movie, you know you are in for something cheesy, but this movie was even worse than I had anticipated it to be.

The story in "The Dead Want Women" starts out at a party in Hollywood in 1927, where silent movie starlet Rose Pettigrew comes to learn that her movie contract is terminated as the new movies with audio is knocking over the silent movies. Enraged and crazy, she kills her entourage and then herself. Fast forward to the present day, two brokers are selling the house of the former silent movie queen, a house that has been untouched for over 80 years. But legend has it that the house is haunted by Rose Pettigrew, and the hours wear long as the two brokers wait for the mystery buyer to show up...

The story itself wasn't actually too bad, there were some nice enough moments to it and some interesting ideas, but there was just something about it that made it not work out at all. Perhaps it was the fact that the house wasn't in any state of decay or ruin, even though it had stood untouched for 80 years. Or perhaps it was the stupid make-up on the living dead. Why is it that in low budget, or B-movies, like this, that only the face of the undead is shriveled up and decayed, but the neck, the ears, the arms and legs, or even the eyes are not? They hadn't even bothered to spend a couple of dollars on contact lenses for the undead. It is so lame and so bad to see that a face is rotting, but come the neck, it is very much vigorous, healthy and as smooth as a baby's bottom.

I don't understand how these type of movies still make it in today's world, it was just so very 1980's. I even know that when you do undead make-up, do all parts of skin that is showing, not just the face. And as for this movie being a horror movie, well I would say that is something of an overstatement. There was nothing scary about this movie at all, aside from the horrible make-up (or lack thereof).

As for the people cast for the roles, well I must say that I thought that only Jessica Morris (playing Reese) and Ariana Madix (playing Danni) as the two brokers were the ones carrying the weight of the movie and had the most memorable performances acting-wise. Not even a pseudo-celebrity like Eric Roberts (playing Sonny Barnes) managed to impress in any way here.

And true enough to the stereotypical low budget horror genre, then "The Dead Want Women" had an abundance of pointless nudity and sexual scenes, which really did nothing for the movie except bring it down to a sleazier level than it already was.

I am sure that there is an audience out there somewhere for this particular movie, I just am not part of that audience. And as a zombie aficionado, I will pass on one word of advice to other zombie fans, don't bother with this movie.

First impression you get about a movie is from their title. With the title like this one, you don't put your expectation too high..... or put the level of your expectation at the floor. One other thing which keep me wondering is why do people make this kind of ugly and bad movies ? What do they hope to gain by producing them.

Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about this B grade movie. It is so cheap that in order to show that the house is haunted, they have to use the girls in the movie to tell you that the house is haunted. Why ? Because it does not look haunted at all, the furniture, the wall, the whole house is squeaky clean for an unoccupied house of 80 years.... and of course it is located in the centre of the Hollywood....

I am not quite sure whether this is a zombie movie or ghost movie. In the zombie, you can normally killed them or blow them to pieces, but the zombie in this one can not be killed and they appear out of the greenish smoke and has some supernatural power to kill other ghost as well. Now, the zombie should have an ugly face and in this instance an overcooked pancake slapped on the face will do the trick....

Let's face it, on the B movie you normally get to see some boobs, but not on this one. You get to see the boobs of ghost-girls (which I think the director forgot to put the make up or does not want to waste make up on these ghost-girls) which was shown on the scene just for the sake of nudity....

It was directed by Charles Band, who produced Puppet Master, Meridian, Trancers, and hundreds more. So, you would think he would know what he is doing. You would think.

This is one that the fast forward button is your friend.

Low budget - cheap budget. Turn the sound off and it gets marginally better without the cheap dialog.

When a silent movie star realizes the end of her career she dispatches her along with a few exaggerated characters. Years later they come back from the netherworld to bore us.

You will notice cheap makeup on the netherworld entities. And a few of them are the only ones that display their frontal lobes.

Beginning at a stylish mansion in the roaring 1920s, a socialite, flappers, and the men who "love" them come to their ultimate demise. These ghosts continue to haunt the mansion throughout the decades. Now they have come back to haunt and chase after a new generation of beautiful girls.

One has to wonder how Full Moon can sink this low. I cannot say they were ever an amazing company, but they had a certain level of quality. Those years are long gone, and each new film seems to get worse and worse, with less of a plot and a more boring presentation. This film is slightly over an hour, but could have been 35 minutes if the entire thing was not done in slow-motion. And to say there was a plot might be giving it too much credit.

What can be said about Eric Roberts? Once upon a time, he had two Golden Globe nominations and an Academy Award nomination. Those years are long gone. Roberts stooped to the level of being in SyFy movies... which, hey, sometimes you have to do. But Full Moon? Wow, Eric... you have a terrible hackneyed accent and spent most of your time on screen groping naked women. I can see why you liked the script, but this must be rock bottom for you. You are now a worse actor than your sister Julia... and how do you explain this to your daughter, Emma? She is already the best actor in the family...

Charles Band, stick to producing. Your writing and directing days are over.

Although it may not be Full Moon Features best, I do find there to be a interesting plot to the whole mix. Keep in mind people that it is a B movie, so what do you really expect, Academy Award nominations? Yes, I do believe the film was rather short, and some scenes did not need to be so long. But it is entertaining to see Eric Roberts just not give a crap about his acting in this movie, as if he is above all others.

If you like B movies, nudity, weird story plots, and Eric Roberts, then this is a must see.

Full Moon Features is known for their outrageous, low budget movies, I don't think they are going down the drain, I just think this wasn't one of their best. I am still a die-hard fan, and I don't completely discredit this movie. Just have a few beers, relax, and enjoy.