Schoolgirl Stories

Myself and my Father decided to watch a Teen Film to reminisce about the good old days when I would sniff glue in Art Class and experiment sexually with my friends siblings behind their backs. (If my friends are reading this then I'm just kidding, but if you're a stranger it's totally true.) Originally I wanted to go with American Pie as I'd heard from a friend that it was a great film but at the local X-Rated video shop all that they had was this.

I must say this film was as disappointing as my sexual performance in and of itself, not to go too personal but I'm still a virgin as I always shoot my Activia juice early.

Anyway, the film begins in a promising way, beginning of course at a high school the women are the typical self indulgent teenagers that we've come to expect and of the school boys the typical archetype of geek, jock and hopeless romantic are all met.

The main problem that I had though was that one of the girls bared a striking resemblance to my sister, she even had the same tattoo on her lower back. The main problem was with the acting, I didn't feel like I could relate to any of the guys in this Film because the acting was as stiff and as wooden as... you get the point.

"Katie St. Ives" stuck out to me as being the best actress on set, I could feel every moan echoing through my soul and feel like if she was given a better script then she could've done wonders with the material.

Perhaps I'm being too hard, the original sound track composed by the 1990's punk-pop group "Sum 41" was quite fitting really, I mean I know that they use their songs in every Teen film ever made... In fact, that's probably how they made half their royalties because I believe their songs are about as nasty and cheesy as the end of the main actors shaft.

Honestly, you would've thought that if the main actor had agreed to do a sex scene he would've had a shower before participating but it just didn't happen, this put me off my food which unfortunately for me at the time was nacho cheese.

All in all a very disappointing film with no plot development, too many pointless sex scenes and an awful sound-track.

My rating - 2/10 - I only give it a 2 because it brought back old memories.

My Dads rating - 3/10 - I enjoyed watching this with my son, although it did remind me that I haven't seen my Daughter since she moved to L.A.