The Horror Network Vol. 1

I am a huge horror movie buff with a definite weakness when it comes to Horror Anthologies! They are my absolute favorite!! I don't know if it's the "2 for the price of 1" mentality; that feeling that I've gotten just a little bit more then was advertised. Creepshow, Tales from the Crypt, Dead of Night, these are some of my favorite movies. With anthologies, you just get that quick, little, sneak peek. Just a short little, burst of shock and horror to get your adrenaline going. Horror anthologies are just so much fun! Usually... So, imagine my delight at seeing something described as a "frightening anthology" that pays homage to the greats, like Creepshow and Tales from the Crypt! Well, unfortunately, this proved to be a less than accurate description. What I found as I watched the five shorts play out was what felt more like some film student's final project. My God! I waisted an hour and 24 minutes of my life watching someone's senior thesis and I didn't even know anybody involved in the project! I mean, I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but this just felt like a betrayal. No, a trap! I had been lured by the promise of excellence and was handed a cardboard box. Now, I could have easily overlooked a shoddy production value and low budget work, if only the storytelling had been engaging. But they just didn't work. In the best case scenarios, the acting was abysmal and I had no idea what the hell was going on half the time. The stories dragged, meandered, fell asleep. When we finally did get a little action in some of the shorts, it was tasteless, crass, and absurd. The scenes were bloody, violent, and wholly unoriginal. Ultimately, it's down to me for wasting my eyes on this incomprehensible mess of someone's final project in film school.