Satan is the narrator--'nuff said
24 December 2004
You know you're in trouble when you're watching a movie where Satan is the narrator. This is an early effort by Olvidio Assonitis, who was considered a rip-off artist even in a country famous for its rip-off artists (Italy). But where some later Assonitis films like "Tentacles" are sporadically entertaining, this movie falls flat largely because Assonitis is trying to rip-off two big Hollywood movies simultaneously --"Rosemary's Baby" AND "The Exorcist". Assonitis obviously doesn't have the budget to rip off the latter or the directorial skill to rip-off the former, but the best director with all the money in the world couldn't successfully combine these two films because "The Exorcist" is sheer outrageous spectacle (including among other things a possessed 12-year-old girl masturbating with a crucifix) while "Rosemary's Baby" is a very subtle exercise in creeping paranoia that never even shows the titular baby. Sure, they're both about Satan, but they are completely different kinds of movies and combining them is a fool's errand. But of course, only a fool would start out a movie with Satan as a narrator.

Juliet(sister of Haley) Mills plays a housewife whose third child is apparently Satan's spawn. The unborn infant has possessed her, somehow turning her into a low-rent Linda Blair. How did she get pregnant with the devil's child? Who knows (guess I missed that part), but her creepy ex-boyfriend has been pulled by Satan from a fatal car accident and given ten more years of life so he can make sure the baby is born (seems like there should be an easier way). Meanwhile, her husband and two older children are completely befuddled (although probably not as much as the audience). Obviously, this movie makes no sense, but its one saving grace is that it is pretty funny at times (mostly unintentionally). At one point it copies a creepy scene in "Rosemary's Baby" where the pregnant heroine eats a barely-cooked piece of meat by having Mills pick a rotting banana peel off the street and eat it. I don't know if it's supposed to be serious or a parody but its hilarious. Then there's the 10-year-old daughter who talks in the dubbed voice of a 70's hippie chick ("You're a stone drag, man," she tells her little brother at one point). I'll give Assonitis some credit and assume that that is SUPPOSED to be funny. Unfortunately, most of the movie is not so funny and it is certainly not very scary. Not the worst Italian horror movie I've ever seen, but I wouldn't waste your time.
10 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed