Hell Asylum (2002 Video)
3/10
Only Full Moon would rip off MTV
23 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Yes, that's right. America has gotten so low we are copying MTV smut as possible entertainment. Remember Fear? The MTV reality show where contestants get a bunch of money if they make it through the night in some haunted place while cameras role and video tape them being scared witless? The show was short-lived, but stylishly creepy. (Which is probably why MTV canceled it...)Same premise here, just executed horribly.

The gore is of fake it's pathetic. I'm talking watered-down ketchup for blood, ramen noodles for guts. One wonders if they raided their kitchen cabinets to supplement the budget. Deaths occur either off stage or at hyper-speed, presumably to look more realistic. How else could you get away with leftover Chinese passing as your intestines? I wasn't expecting much of the acting, especially from Full Moon. Don't get me wrong, they make great campy movies, but sometimes one can really see where the casting couch was pushed in there.. Tanya Dempsey is as pleasant as a walrus with hemorrhoids, which is an improvement over most of her performances. The chick that plays Stacy is so annoying you gasp with relief as she is being torn apart. The only bright spot here is Sunny Lombardo as the requisite goth girl. She had a bit part in Ted Bundy, and is proving to be a genuine presence.

If you want something to giggle over popcorn and beer, pop this in, but don't expect much. Even them I'm not sure you won't be disappointed.
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