I just saw this "movie" today. I'm still recovering. My stomach actually hurt laughing. This is THE best comedy EVER!!! Vampires in sunlight?! BRILLIANT!!! But seriously folks, this movie was so incredibly bad it has to be put away in shelters and be ignored forever. Unless you like laughing at lame "horror"-films... in that case this is THE film...
Where to start? Well... the actors all sucked. David No tries to save the stuff, and utterly fails. Mainly because he has dumb dialog and he has "Lance" to act against. And everybody is cool compared to Lance. Lance was one of the reasons this film is so funny. His accent is bloody horrible and his "acting" is even worse. If you get Old Yeller's acting... and compare it to Lance... Old Yeller gets the Academy Award... Mr. Michael Dorn was a terrible character, given some unnecessary "feelings" including a dead wife. Michael is supposed te be sympathetic... but you just don't give a rat's bum if he dies or not... Why he HAS to wear long black clothing when he becomes a vampire will always be a riddle to me, like the JFK-assassination.
But hey the acting was that bad, we can go on forever.
The cinematography... I mean... the security cameras and the "oh hello five-year-old, can you film this?"-camera-style all add up in a gigantic pile of dung which can best be described idiotic as well as annoying.
Oh but if you want to have the laugh of your LIFE, you have to see the end.
>>>>>>>SPOILER ALERT!!!<<<<<<<< (like you care)
There's an actual 6 minute(!) long monologue about how the old vampires cannot breath the toxic air that exists today(?), and how they are bloody angry about not being able to drink the blood of people with HIV, cause it will make them sick. This is why Mr. Dorn has to develop the HIV-antidote and is (obviously) the one meant to do this!! wowzers! that's a LOT of crap to deal with... uh not... and it has Mr. Dorn standing around, being angry, and doing nothing whatsoever, besides standing and looking "cool" and stuff, without a thing to say, off course. Because this will destroy the plot!! Oh, nope, they already did that...
anyhow... see this film... you'll still have a laugh or 20.
Where to start? Well... the actors all sucked. David No tries to save the stuff, and utterly fails. Mainly because he has dumb dialog and he has "Lance" to act against. And everybody is cool compared to Lance. Lance was one of the reasons this film is so funny. His accent is bloody horrible and his "acting" is even worse. If you get Old Yeller's acting... and compare it to Lance... Old Yeller gets the Academy Award... Mr. Michael Dorn was a terrible character, given some unnecessary "feelings" including a dead wife. Michael is supposed te be sympathetic... but you just don't give a rat's bum if he dies or not... Why he HAS to wear long black clothing when he becomes a vampire will always be a riddle to me, like the JFK-assassination.
But hey the acting was that bad, we can go on forever.
The cinematography... I mean... the security cameras and the "oh hello five-year-old, can you film this?"-camera-style all add up in a gigantic pile of dung which can best be described idiotic as well as annoying.
Oh but if you want to have the laugh of your LIFE, you have to see the end.
>>>>>>>SPOILER ALERT!!!<<<<<<<< (like you care)
There's an actual 6 minute(!) long monologue about how the old vampires cannot breath the toxic air that exists today(?), and how they are bloody angry about not being able to drink the blood of people with HIV, cause it will make them sick. This is why Mr. Dorn has to develop the HIV-antidote and is (obviously) the one meant to do this!! wowzers! that's a LOT of crap to deal with... uh not... and it has Mr. Dorn standing around, being angry, and doing nothing whatsoever, besides standing and looking "cool" and stuff, without a thing to say, off course. Because this will destroy the plot!! Oh, nope, they already did that...
anyhow... see this film... you'll still have a laugh or 20.