1/10
Dire.... Dire.... dire. An horrendous movie
15 January 2018
Ok, first things first. In the US two films were released - Wiener Dog Nationals and Wiener Dog Internationals. Now, because in the UK these dogs are known as "Sausage Dogs", the films had to be re titled with the original being called "Hot Dog Derby" and its sequel, reviewed here, being renamed "Top Dog". It wasn't immediately obvious from the packaging that this was a sequel, although it became very obvious from the word go that the story followed on from something. I have never seen the original, but it became apparent that key members of the original cast must have eyed this turkey and baled out, which is why one of the main protagonists spends his time jetting off around the world in pursuit of an unseen lady in order to propose to her - the actress in question from the first film must have been "washing her hair" after reading this script.

I sat through this execrable footage for the sake of my 9 year old son who got this for his birthday - I wish I could remember who gave it to him, so that I can remember to "thank" them properly next time I see them.

Now it wasn't the very worst film I have ever seen, but wow did it come close. The plot line itself is wildly corny, and revolves around the world of Sausage Dog racing (which I am unaware exists in the UK.) Whilst the first film was a strictly domestic affair, "Top Dog" looks at the "International" aspect of the sport, with a whole host of miniature canines from countries across the world all flouting quarantine regulations to participate in a 20 yard dash in an American precinct, dressed in painfully stereotypical nation garb (e.g. French Sausage dog in stripey jumper and beret, etc. - you get the idea)

The corn itself is ladled on thickly enough to make this film a dreadful proposition as it stands, but to make matters worse the actors (both adult and child) seem to exude their roles rather like a slug leaving a trail of slime. There were times where I nearly laughed, but I am not totally sure if the humour was intentional or not.

A dreadful, hopeless movie. Excruciating to watch, even by the low standards of budget Children's films.
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