4/10
What a Bummer
21 June 2024
I'm starting to notice some Playmate calendar years really don't deliver a high quota of nudity. You dip into titles from the late 80's, early 90's and at least you know it was the style at the time or a rare "off" year. However I'm perplexed by the '2007' edition where consistent nudity shouldn't be an issue. Playboy always had a tendency to be "artsy" at the best of times, but this is next level. The results feel like turning you on wasn't even on the list of importance.

"Miss January" is Sara Jean Underwood - PMotY 2007 - and the first scene has her talk as visuals play up small town roots. You notice the style they're going for immediately when words pop out on screen and the nudity comes sparingly in select shots. Then an interview in the middle - '2008' calendar does it too - before her second scene slipping on lemonade outdoors in a yellow summer dress. It eventually gets opened and the wet sights of her body inside are lovely. Then gets into a bathtub and there's a nice shot or two, but it never builds to really hot (6 mins). "Miss February" is Monica Leigh - Mar 2006 - with more talking as Monica walks down a street and then stops to pose. A few video effects continue being used and she looks great with nudity coming quickly. It rotates between shots of her clothed, naked with some wasted shots for sure. Another quick interview and then it's a number with her in a yellow chair in an empty loft. You can spy some quick views naked, but that certainly doesn't feel like the point which is starting to become the norm here and kinda irritating (5 mins).

"Miss March" is Athena Lundberg - Jan 2006 - who talks as the footage jumps around A LOT. One moment she's on a groovy 70's stage then it's a water themed set with or without a bikini and lastly in a house. It never settles down to showing her off naked for long. Another chat before a night scene inside a trendy mansion. The thing to take away once again is how little you see Athena naked and low lighting. Which means ever when the bra, panties come off you can't always see anything. Style, atmosphere seems key above everything else (6 mins). "Miss April" is Alison Waite - May 2006 - in a girls school concept shown off in either a top, jeans or a plaid skirt outside. She looks great, but the first minute only gives you fleeting seconds of her naked in the trend I've already made plenty clear by now. Brief interview leads to another night scene inside a house and I'll give them credit where credit is due. She is naked for most of it, but the camera also stays too far away at times (6 mins).

"Miss May" is Tamara Witmer - Aug 2005 - she talks as she drops from a robe at a house pool and does some tai chi as the camera stays far away. You get a number of nice full body pan shots, but just as many that don't deliver anything worthy. She then hits a shower and soap is put over her boobs, butt but it doesn't last long. Another mini chat followed by her walking along a beach, inside a condo. Again there's full body pans, but long stretches with nothing good too (6 mins). "Miss June" is Stephanie Larimore - Jun 2006 - on a white backdrop in a few pieces of clothing, but the focus is on orange balloons. The good news is the nudity content has gone up. Another talk leads to a carnival inspired theme as she goes between the floor or in a bed. The nudity is there but it's fleeting (6 mins).

"Miss July" is Cassandra Lynn - Feb 2006 - who chats about her modelling career before an equal mix of solo poses (camera at a distance) and a lite boy/girl starts up. Don't get too excited as it's short. A chat with her and then sombre music sets up a moody romance where delivering nudity doesn't seem to be a concern. By the time she is shown naked it's not like you can even get excited as heavy lighting washes out the sights of her boobs, body. A real dismal tease (6 mins). "Miss August" is Raquel Gibson - Nov 2005 - who chats as she's shown spinning around in a dress and in a see thru top. She has a unique look - her face is striking - but I was very hesitant to get excited here ... and you know why. She gets naked but it's far away shots yet again and more jumping back and forth between her naked quickly and clothed. She has a word with the camera before another night scene and ends up on a bed as the rain comes down outside. She slowly gets out of her dress, matching bra & panties. There's a few closeups, but slow is the optimal word here meaning there's little to get hot and bothered about (6.5 mins).

"Miss September" is Amanda Paige - Oct 2005 - a blonde with makeup done in such a way to give her a very sultry face. When you get to lock eyes on her tanned body in a black bikini as she washes down a car you might be smitten. Some nice closeups in combination with the wet 'n soapy look is a winning one making this one of the best segments in a dismal calendar so far. Amanda chats about life balance before a second scene of her getting out of a dress in a dark warehouse. It's not hot like her first outing (5.5 mins). "Miss October" is Holley Ann Dorrough - Apr 2006 - kicking it on a chair outside in jean cutoffs, cowboy boots before a nice topless shot followed by the shorts being dropped. Then comes a bunch of clothed shots, Holley holding a picture frame that thru the use of video effects has an image inside. There's nice shots of Holley with a bright smile topless, but seeing her naked consistently isn't in the cards. A short chat and then it's her on a rooftop at night with a tv set that shows images of herself. The clothes come off, but nothing to be excited about (6 mins).

"Miss November" is Christine Smith - Dec 2005 - and while I wasn't familiar with her, I was pretty excited they choose to show her massive bust off in a topless pic. I was in luck here because this turns out to be pretty awesome. For her first scene, she looks at herself in a mirror, does makeup and gets out of her white bra, bottoms. There's shots clothed or closeups of her face, but also many head to toe nude. A shot of her squeezing her huge tits together didn't go unappreciated. A very short word from her leads to a strip indoors on a cold winter night. Her boobs look great in a red bra, but you're begging for them to come out and luckily it doesn't take long. It's not be as good as her first scene, but it's solid. Hands down the tops of the entire video and I was shocked afterwards to read her DD breasts are completely real (6 mins).

"Miss December" is Kara Monaco - PMotY 2006 - and both of Kara's scenes come from her PotY vid. First up she knocks at an apartment door and then begins to energetically strip with the occasional keyhole POV shot thrown in for good measure. Kara looks great and the scene is well put together, edited and the visuals are on point. Her talking about working at Disneyland leads to an almost fairytale scene. She's shown in a white dress but that doesn't last long before it's down to black bra, panties and then nothing at all. It's as good as the first trip out, but it's mildly decent (8.5 mins).

Playmate calendars are constantly shifting the goal posts. I sat thru '1999' recently and it wasn't my favorite, but it blows '2007' out of the water in comparison. Even '1997' which is a poor calendar year that suffers from some of the same problems here - lack of nudity, artsy focus - comes out better than this. You get roughly fifteen good mins in a vid that runs nearly 90. I'm sorry but that doesn't cut it.
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