- Ani: It's a double meaning! A humorous play on words, and... that's where the comedy comes in.
- [repeated line]
- Podracing Announcer: And they're headed for the finish line, the dust is too thick, I can't make out who it is. Wait, who is it? It's - it's - Ani!
- [first lines]
- Ani: I was thinking, once they're both done, we take the two death stars, we latch them together, to make a giant... pair of tatties.
- Ani: Sometimes I'll be talking to these kids, and I'll make a joke about Dash Rendar, for example, and they'll look at me like I'm from outer space.
- Ani: Hey, where you going? This guy likes ya. He's the Casanova of Coruscant. He's Tarkin all the muff.
- J.J.: They be saying that mesa stupid... that mesa annoying. Everybody says that mesa ruined dis whole universe!
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: [Holding his head] It's as if a million voices cried out in terror... and then were suddenly silenced.
- [pause]
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have the worst hangover in history.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: You see, only a Sith deals in absolutes.
- Tarkin: Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense at all.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: I on the other hand, deal in Absolut!
- [drinks from a bottle of vodka]
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: Whoo! We're having fun now, man!
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: Don't you see, don't you see, there has to be a balance in harmony between light and the dark side. And to create that harmony, we wanted to wipe out the dark side! And then all of a sudden two Siths come along and they kill all but two Jedis? That's not balance.
- Tarkin: Do you remember Ani?
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes. I loved him like a brother. So I cut him in half... and I put him in a volcano.
- Tarkin: Oh... well... he's better now.
- Ani: Great dance, kid, that was one in a million.
- Mara: Thanks, Ani!
- Bib Fortuna: Jabba says you got the part!
- [Last lines]
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well... it's like... goddammit, right? It's like, y-y-you think you kill a guy... and then he shows up as a goddamn robut. And this is the second time this has happened to me!
- Tarkin: [Mimics Hayden Christiansen] My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a sca-arrr...
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