Nicotine Addictz

Cigarette smoking (and cigar smoking here, too) is among the dumbest fetishes used in pornography, a step or two below the genre known as Tickling. These rather innocent (though harmful to your health in the case of ciggies) pastimes are somehow equated with forbidden sex for some fans (or would-be perverts) so London's Bluebird Films tried to cash in and failed. "Volume 1" is even included in the film's title, but thankfully no further effusions were released before the label's demise several years ago.

Copyright year is listed as 2009 in the end credits, but it apparently sat on the shelf until 2012. No matter, only a Bluebird completist (like me) would waste time viewing it.

Doyenne of Brit Porn, Michelle Thorne, hosts with the slim premise of a product called Porno Smokes that she is demonstrating to have aphrodisiacal powers. She even concludes the video with the admonition that while smoking is harmful, the nicotine turns her on.

The five silly vignettes demonstrate smokers having sex, and it's a dull stunt, typical of a Bluebird all-sex junker. Michelle introduces "Bunny", played by busty Alexis Silver with old Playboy Bunny ears on her head, stuck in a tiny cage until she's let out to have a three-way with Pascal White and Thorne. A second anthropomorphic bit of role-playing casts almost as busty Kristi Love as Kitty in "Miaow", in which she is humped by snake-tattooed Jay R., nothing made of his distinctive ink. Kristi keeps her mask on throughout, making me wonder what facial defect she might be trying to hide.

Departing from Bluebird's emphasis on huge-titted females, the svelte Cassie Young stars in "Bus Stop", with a crummy studio set pretending to represent the outdoors as she has sex with Euro import Lenny Evil. "Cigars" is a self-explanatory gang-bang in which another talent from Europe, Claudia Adams, services three guys: the ubiquitous Tony James/Uttley, Pascal and Bluebird's horny owner Paul Chaplin.

Finale is a peculiarly British type of fetish, depicting women as fairies with Tinkerbell wings. Titled "Fairy Smoke" it has local porn icon Renee Richards teamed with breast in show Carly Parker as bondage girls servicing two studs clad with large rat heads (!). This utter nonsense (I wanted to call it rubbish, but I'm not British) is accompanied by incessant cigarette smoking, as are all the segments of a DVD that is oh so typical of the screwball approach of most Bluebird productions.