What kills this is the script and the dialogue. And gee, take those away and you have .... nothing, really.
It looks nice, the actors do the best they can, the music is competent, the special effects are competent.
But with the dialogue and script gone:
The cinematography makes no sense at all.
The actors just embarass themselves, and the speeches are absurd and boring.
The music keeps just surging at completely random intervals.
The special effects convey a story that keeps changing direction as the drunken author wakes up and scribbles another paragraph.
If I were a producer and this landed on my desk as a DEMO? I'd have a good laugh, then possibly call the creators in for a chat:
"You folks really have potential. We're going to give you a REAL script to work with and see what you do, but this demo? It must NEVER reach the public or you will never have any credibility associated with your names? Understand me?"
