- Father Hagan: When God builds a church, the devil builds a chapel next door.
- Gerry Fenn: I never thought that I would hear a Catholic priest quote Martin Luther.
- Monica Slade: Look, I know you. You would sell your soul for a story.
- Gerry Fenn: I'm pretty sure I already did.
- Delgarde: [on learning of Mary of Elnor's execution] Why was I not informed about this?
- Bishop Gyles: Informed about what? An ugly occurrence of vigilante justice that happened almost two centuries ago? That The Church... May Or May Not Have Been Involved In?
- Gerry Fenn: [Narrating on his phone] It began... It began by sucking on a cow's ass.
- [Speaking to himself]
- Gerry Fenn: Good God, Fenn. You were gonna win a Pulitzer. Idiot.
- Faithful #4: [Speaking on Television] Blurry vision. Wobbly knees. No doctor could find what was wrong with me. But one look at Alice, and I was cured.
- Gerry Fenn: [Turning off the television] Shut up.
- Gerry Fenn: [Looking at himself in the mirror] Who's back? That guy's back! I'm gonna need new headshots.
- Gerry Fenn: But the source of her power wasn't divine. It was satanic.
- Gerry Fenn: [on discovering where Alice's healing really comes from] But The Source Of Her Power Isn't Divine... It's Satanic!
- Father Hagan: [on a so called miracle] In Fátima, three children saw the Virgin Mary. Two of them were dead by the end of the year.