- [first lines]
- Huckleberry Finn: You need to write a new story on me, don't you? Here you go - here is something to start from...
- Intertitle: Aunt Polly knows that Tom will end up in prison because of all the dime novels he devours.
- Miss Watson: Can't you imagine how delightful it would be up in heaven playing on a golden harp?
- Huckleberry Finn: Do you aim to go up there? Then I'd rather go someplace else.
- Intertitle: Miss Watson preaches for a long time on Moses, as if he were her best friend. And that's even though she never knew him!
- Huck's Father: The blood trail can be followed straight down to the lake. My own little Huck first got murdered and then drowned afterward.
- Jim: If Massa Huck alive, can I stay here with you? They sold me to a bad man and I run off.
- Huckleberry Finn: I'm most certainly alive! Of course you can stay here. I appoint you secretary of the navy! Build me a ship where we can sleep at night.
- Huckleberry Finn: I'll go into town to get some news. Maybe they found some of me in the river and buried me. That'd be good to know.
- Mrs. Judith Loftus: What did you say your name was?
- Huckleberry Finn: Doris, Enid, Lucy, Mabel Williams.
- Mrs. Judith Loftus: I thought you said your name was Sarah, and a whole bunch of other names.
- Huckleberry Finn: I have a lot of names, so many that I change a little between them. Some I use on Sundays - and others on weekdays.
- Mrs. Judith Loftus: Yes. Yes. Goodbye dear Sarah, George, Peter, Alexander. Just don't forget what your name is next time.
- The Duke: My great-great-great grandfather was the eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater. He drank himself to death, the dearl soul.
- The King: Dear Duke Bilgewater, let me comfort you... I can see that there is something in your eye that is very reminiscent of the picture I have seen of Duke Bilgewater... on a whiskey bottle!
- The Duke: [after the King falls into the river while reciting Romeo and Juliet] The idea was that you become Juliet, not the fountain.
- Huckleberry Finn: Dear Lord, will you save Jim? If you do that, I promise you that I will write to Miss Watson and tell her where I am. So, if you absolutely want me to be back with Miss Watson, Jim has to be rescued.
- Mrs. Sally Phelps: Why on earth do you want to free him when he is free to begin with?
- Tom Sawyer: Are you fools? We did it for the adventure! And now Huck and I will go on another one.
- [last lines]
- Huckleberry Finn: It's better that I tell the truth, then maybe Aunt Sally will adopt me and make me an educated young man, so I can go back to Mary Jane. And this I swear, Mary Jane will someday see me as a grown-up educated man.