Bert Wheeler credited as playing...
- Bert: You blew your nose!
- Bob: I did not blow my nose. It was your imagination!
- Bert: Oh, no. My imagination doesn't make a noise like that.
- Bob: Get that silly look off of your face! Every time you do that I know you're ready to lift something--and you promised me you weren't gonna steal another thing!
- Bert: You know I can't help lifting things. It's a disease! Y'know, the doctor says that I'm a kleptomaniac.
- Bob: Yeah, well why don't you take something for it?
- Bert: I've taken everything. But you know, I don't really steal.
- Bob: Aw, no, you don't steal--you just find a lot of things that haven't been lost, that's all!
- Bert: I wonder who this carriage belongs to?
- Bob: Oh, some great duchess, I suppose. I hope she doesn't find us under here. She's liable to have us beheaded.
- Bert: Beheaded? Can she do that?
- Bob: Sure. She can be head.
- Bert: Do you think we ought to send for a lawyer?
- Bob: Certainly not. We're in enough trouble as it is.
- Bob: Come on. Let's get outta here.
- Bert: Wait a minute. You wouldn't leave that kid in that fight would you?
- Bob: Certainly not.
- Bert: We're men of iron!
- Bob: Yeah, but I'm a little rusty today.
- Bert: What does that all mean?
- Bob: It means that the clothes we have on belongs to the King's physician. So, from now on, we're a couple of doctors.
- Mary Ann Dale: Surgeons?
- Bob: No, I could never be a surgeon. Too much inside work.
- Bob: Doc, you're just in time. We're just about ready to have a diagnosis.
- Bert: Well, I've never drank one but I'll take a chance.
- Bob: Now, take it easy, Gracie, this is not going to hurt you much. I'll blow very easy.
- Bert: What happened?
- Bob: He blew first!
- Bob: She's liable to have us beheaded.
- Bert: Beheaded? Can she do that?
- Bob: Sure, she can be had.
- [sic]
- Bert: You know, the doctor says I'm a kleptomaniac.
- Bob: Yeah, well why don't you take something for it?
- Bert: I've taken everything.
