- Countess Rostova: [Mistaking Jones for the drunken waiter who passed out] Well, are you stupid, or impertinent?
- J. Paul Jones: [Bowing] Stupid, madame.
- Countess Rostova: And, impertinent..
- J. Paul Jones: [after he buys the hotel and looks at the books] Don't people ever pay their bills?
- Manager of Hotel: Oh, well, uh, the lower classes, uh sometimes. The middle class, always. But the upper classes, monsieur, never!
- J. Paul Jones: You're right, Jimmy. They're a couple of snobs. I think I'll stay over and tell her so.
- James Smith: That's right. Stand outside her door and yodel, 'Snob!'
- James Smith: [Seeing Jones acting as waiter] Boy, oh, boy, is this good. What a story. I can see it now. "Warbling Waiter Outwits Royalty."