Gary Cooper credited as playing...
Michael Brandon
- Nicole de Loiselle: I like to see something gay in the morning! Don't you?
- Michael Brandon: Not too darn gay. There's not a laugh in me before breakfast.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Oh, you should try to brighten up your life!
- Michael Brandon: I don't want to hurt your feelings, but, I don't sleep.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Maybe you should see a doctor? By the way, how many pillows do you use?
- Michael Brandon: None.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Did you ever try putting two pillows under your feet?
- Michael Brandon: No.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Don't do it. It's very bad.
- Nicole de Loiselle: You seem to be a man full of innuendos.
- Michael Brandon: I just try to make myself clear.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Are you staying here long?
- Michael Brandon: Well, you never can tell. You know, I'm pretty glad I came to the Riviera.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Oh, yes, it's a lovely place. Beautiful. But, the class of people who come here gets worse every year. And this year, we seem to have next year's crowd already!
- Nicole de Loiselle: Michael, in one word, how many times have you been married.
- Michael Brandon: Well, eh, you've heard about Henry VIII?
- Nicole de Loiselle: You mean six times!
- Michael Brandon: No, seven.
- Nicole de Loiselle: You do believe in marriage.
- Michael Brandon: I feel fine. It was a nice day yesterday. I'll be a nice day today. It'll be a nice day tomorrow. I feel fine. I feel fine. I feel very fine. I feel fine. It was a nice day yesterday. It'll be a nice day today. It'll be a nice day tomorrow. I feel fine. I feel fine. I feel very fine.
- Nurse: [enters room] How do you today, Mr. Brandon?
- Michael Brandon: Not so good. I feel fine. I feel fine. I feel very fine. It was a nice day yesterday. It'll be a nice day today. It'll be a nice day tomorrow.
- Michael Brandon: Stop tickling my face!
- Nicole de Loiselle: That's not tickling, that's caressing.
- Michael Brandon: Then, don't caress me!
- Nicole de Loiselle: Well then, don't pay any attention to it.
- [first lines]
- Floorwalker: Bon jour, monsieur. Is there something I could show you?
- Michael Brandon: Pajamas.
- Floorwalker: Will you be so good as to step this way. May I call your attention to the fact that we are featuring a special sale at reduced prices of raincoats, umbrellas, tennis rackets and portable phonographs.
- Michael Brandon: I want some pajamas.
- Floorwalker: May I interest, Monsieur, in a new man's perfume? In these days of greater equality between the sexes, perfume should not be the privilege of ladies only. It is the contention of our management that the man who smells is a thing of the future.
- Michael Brandon: You ought to go a long way.
- Michael Brandon: This pajama business is a racket and I don't fall for it! Ninety percent of the male population don't sleep in pajama pants, don't want pajama pants; yet, buy pajama pants.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Take a long word like, eh, Czechoslovakia, for instance, and you spell it backwards.
- Michael Brandon: I can't even spell it forward.
- Michael Brandon: Oh, about this Czechoslovakia, when do I do it?
- Nicole de Loiselle: You go to bed and turn out the lights and then you start. Oh, it's wonderful! And so easy! A -
- [yawns]
- Nicole de Loiselle: I - mmm
- [stretches]
- Nicole de Loiselle: K - ahhh. You only have to worry about Slovakia. By the time you get reach Czech, you're fast asleep.
- Michael Brandon: Who is she?
- Floorwalker: The story writes itself, doesn't it?
- Michael Brandon: What do you mean?
- Floorwalker: Well, a beautiful lady buys a pair of pajamas for a gentleman. She has no husband, she has no brother. Voila!
- Michael Brandon: Woila, what?
- Floorwalker: A lady in love.
- Michael Brandon: Eh! You Frenchmen always think the worst. Maybe it was for an uncle?
- Floorwalker: Oh, no, Monsieur. For an uncle you buy a pipe.
- Michael Brandon: The girl who bought those pants is...
- The Marquis De Loiselle: My daughter.
- Michael Brandon: Is she married?
- The Marquis De Loiselle: No.
- Michael Brandon: Engaged?
- The Marquis De Loiselle: No.
- Michael Brandon: In love with any one?
- The Marquis De Loiselle: No, no, no.
- Michael Brandon: I'll buy the bath tub.
- Michael Brandon: I act on the spur of the moment! I act on impulse!
- Nicole de Loiselle: Now, Mr. Brandon, don't be too spontaneous.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Never say to an Archduke, "Hey, Archie."
- Michael Brandon: You just give me time, I'll learn.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Make up your mind, Michael. Think fast! If you wait much longer it'll be a $150,000. My price goes up every minute.
- Michael Brandon: Well, Nicole, you got me on the spot. I'm so crazy about you...
- The Marquis De Loiselle: Don't rush, my boy, take your time.
- Michael Brandon: It's a deal.
- The Marquis De Loiselle: It's a bargain.
- Aunt Hedwige: It's a scandal!
- Michael Brandon: I want some books. I'd say about a, uh, half a dozen.
- Book Salesman: What sort, Monsieur? Fiction? We have some very exciting new detective stories.
- Michael Brandon: No, no. Nothing like that. I want something to quiet me down. Something to put me to sleep.
- Book Salesman: Something to put you to sleep? Oh, what you want are the classics.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Yes, and put in one volume of poetry, in case you need a quick nap. There's nothing like blank verse right after lunch.
- Nicole de Loiselle: Here's to our agreement. No lovemaking. No quarrels.
- Michael Brandon: Just like an ordinary married couple.
- Nicole de Loiselle: I said no quarrels.
- Michael Brandon: Now, look here, Nichole, I married you...
- Nicole de Loiselle: No, you didn't. You bought me.
- Michael Brandon: Well, then, fulfill your contract!