- Lillian, the kids' mother: John, do you know what day this is?
- John: Sure, it's Saturday.
- Lillian, the kids' mother: Yes, it's Saturday, but what particular day?
- John: Just Saturday.
- Lillian, the kids' mother: Oh... you've forgotten again... just like you did last year. It's my birthday!
- John: Your birthday? Oh... Well, what about it?
- Lillian, the kids' mother: I'm sorry you forgot. It hurts.
- John: Good Lord, you're like a kid! You'd be crying for Santy Claus next!
- [John sends back an expensive dress that Lillian bought C.O.D]
- John: Least little thing you say to a woman and she starts to BAWL!