- Mother Carrot: My babies! My babies have been stolen!
- Potato policeman: What do you guys know about this case?
- Pickled onions: [together; drunken accent] We don't know nothing, we're strangers from Bermuda. *hic!*
- Potato policeman: Come clean or you'll end up in the soap!
- Corn: [dragged into a toaster] I'm innocent! I'm innocent, you hear? I'm Old Popcorn, I-- I'm a kernal! You can't do this to me! Help, please! Please! Pa-lease!
- Potato policeman: [one potato starts the toaster to grill the corn] Come on, start popping! What happened to those carrots?
- Corn: [popcorn pops] I'm innocent!...
- Potato policeman: [interrogating an egg] Crack down on the vice!
- Potato policeman: So you're a tough egg, eh?
- Potato policeman: We'll soften ya!
- Potato policeman: We'll crack you wide open!
- Potato policeman: Tryin' the ol' shell game, eh?
- [potato policemen make an evil laugh together]
- Potato policeman: You'll fry, see? You'll fry!
- Egg: Yeah, the yolk's on youse guys. I'm ha-a-ard boiled.
- Potato policeman: Egg him on, Vice!
- Potato policeman: If you could be so kindly, could you tell us exactly what happened to the carrots could be?
- Potato policeman: We'll make short order of this guy, sunny-side up.
- Potato policeman: Turn on the heat!
- Potato policeman: Give it to him!