Clark Gable credited as playing...
McKinley B. Thompson
- Mac Thompson: You can't have a revolution in a country where the people love hot dogs and boogie-woogie.
- Mac Thompson: What, uh, what are they singing?
- Vanya: Same thing they always sing in prison: "We are Free."
- Mac Thompson: I, uh, I got a confession to make. I lied to you.
- Theodora: What about?
- Mac Thompson: The USA. It ain't a spiritual desert. Say, it's pie a la mode, two-pants suits and the home of the brave, Pike's Peak and Coney Island.
- Mac Thompson: You're just like all the other Russians I know. They're hanging upside down from chandeliers throwing rocks at each other and for a penny they'll set fire to their pants.
- Vanya: Excuse me, Mr. Thompson, how soon can I talk to you alone?
- Mac Thompson: You'll have to wait until we're alone, Vanya.
- Theodora: Why did you do this to me, Mac?
- Mac Thompson: Why does a man lie to a woman?... because he loves her.
- Mac Thompson: Ever hear of the Brooklyn Dodgers?
- Theodora: No.
- Mac Thompson: They get murdered every day.
- Theodora: Murdered? What for?
- Mac Thompson: For making some little errors.
- Theodora: There must be a revolution soon in America.
- Mac Thompson: No, you can't have a revolution with people who believe in hot dogs and boogie woogie.
- Mac Thompson: American men are usually all alike. All interested in only one thing.
- Theodora: Money.
- Mac Thompson: Oh, worst than that. The rights of the masses mean nothing to them.
- Theodora: Like animals - without souls.
- Mac Thompson: Why, over there, men look on women as just toys to have fun with! Nothing more! Not to exchange views on economics with and things like that.
- Theodora: That's awful!
- Theodora: Under the Soviet, marriage is the same as any place else.
- Mac Thompson: Only shorter.
- Theodora: It is like going into partnership with somebody and opening a store. If business is bad, store closes.
- Mac Thompson: Hello, honeybun. Miss me?
- Jane Wilson: No, I can always go to the zoo when you're away.
- Mac Thompson: Oh, I've got rivals, huh?
- Mac Thompson: [Sarcastically to Theodore and her father] You know, it's gonna be kinda tough to surrender to these people. You got to catch 'em first.
- Comrade Baronoff - Hotel Manager: I'm sorry, Mr. Thompson, there is no key for you. The hotel is filled. Your room is now occupied.
- Mac Thompson: Oh, it is? A lady?
- Comrade Baronoff - Hotel Manager: No, sir.
- Mac Thompson: Well, then, throw him out!
- Comrade Baronoff - Hotel Manager: Please, the gentleman occupying your room is Herr Von Hofer of the German News Agency. He used pressure from the Kremlin.
- Mac Thompson: Hofer! Good old, Hofer! Why didn't you say so? Why, we're old pals! It'll be fun bunking in with old pretzel-head Hofer.
- Comrade Baronoff - Hotel Manager: You're sure they'll be no trouble?
- Mac Thompson: Trouble? We're practically honeymooners!
- Mac Thompson: Listen, this is important. I want the waiter to bring me up: one bottle of brandy, one bottle of vodka, two cucumbers, three raw eggs, and a small bottle of tabasco. Right away! Delay will be fatal.
- Emil Von Hofer: Mr. Thompson, this is my room and I must ask you to vacate, if you please!
- Mac Thompson: Now, that's a fine way to talk. I get this room, I fix it up, I pay for it in advance and I live in it. And you march in and try to throw me out. Now, is that a nice way for a Nazi to act, I ask you?
- Mac Thompson: What's your name?
- Olga: Olga.
- Mac Thompson: Okay, Olga, you can curl up in the fireplace. That's Russian. Everybody shares everything.
- Jane Wilson: Hey, you really missed something at the Kremlin this morning, Mac.
- Mac Thompson: Yeah, how is the old Kremlin?
- Jane Wilson: Same old rat trap. Full of stuffed shirts, double-crossing the masses. Someday the people are gonna get wise and take it apart brick-by-brick.
- Jane Wilson: Okay, Mac, I never minded anything you did. Not even when you walked out on me in Tokyo for a bow-legged geisha girl.
- Mac Thompson: She loved me!
- Jane Wilson: Oh, I just can't get used to you as a no-good, incompetent party boy!