Felix Bressart credited as playing...
Vanya
- Vanya: The communists have ideas. But they found out you can't run a government with everybody going around having ideas. So what is happening, the communists are being executed so that Communism should succeed.
- Mac Thompson: What, uh, what are they singing?
- Vanya: Same thing they always sing in prison: "We are Free."
- Vanya: Excuse me, Mr. Thompson, how soon can I talk to you alone?
- Mac Thompson: You'll have to wait until we're alone, Vanya.
- Vanya: Well, there's some good news and some bad news. Last week all the towels were stolen. But on the other hand the water wasn't running so nobody needed the towels. Everything balances.
- Vanya: Excuse me, I don't want her to hear what I got to say. She's a spy.
- Mac Thompson: Yeah, I know. Everybodies a spy. That's why I like you. You're too dumb to be a spy.
- Vanya: Thank you.
- Mac Thompson: Okay, Theodore, just when were you figuring on this marriage?
- Theodora: Tonight.
- Mac Thompson: Isn't it a little late?
- Vanya: Oh, no, Mr. Thompson. That's all right. The Marriage Bureau keeps open until 1:00AM. Statistics show that people want to get married at night more than in the morning!
- Vanya: Mr. Thompson, what is this? Why on earth are they going to shoot us in the street? Everybody else got shot in the Kremlin.
- Vanya: I'm glad you're back, Mr. Thompson. You have a good time?
- Mac Thompson: I must've if it's Friday.
- Mac Thompson: How long has the elevator been stuck this time?
- Vanya: Eight hours. They are going to report it to the bureau of elevators.
- Mac Thompson: What's the rush?
- Vanya: Well, they think there's some people in it.
- Mac Thompson: Well, what're they gonna do about it?
- Vanya: They are looking for the engineer, but nobody knows where he is. Personally, I think he's in the elevator.