The Lady Eve (1941)

Charles Coburn: 'Colonel' Harrington

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jean : [while observing Charles from her pocket mirror]  Not good enough.

  'Colonel' Harrington : What'd you say?

  Jean : I said they're not good enough for him. Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer and he feels they're just a waste of time. He's returning to his book; he's deeply immersed in it. He sees no one except - watch his head turn when that kid goes by. Won't do ya any good, dear - he's a bookworm - but swing 'em anyway. Oh, now how about this one. How'd you like *that* hanging on your Christmas tree? Oh, you wouldn't? Well, what is your weakness, brother? Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! That hasn't been used since Lily Langtry. You'll have to pick it up yourself, madam. It's a shame, but he doesn't care for the flesh. He'll never see it. Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There's a girl pining for ya. A little further. Just a little further... There! Wasn't that worth looking for? See those nice store teeth all beaming at you. Oh, she recognizes you! She's up, she's down, she can't make up her mind. She's up again. She recognizes you! She's coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. "Why, for heaven's sake, aren't you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh, you're not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him, it's certainly a remarkable resemblance... But if you're not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you're not going to ask me to sit down... I'm very sorry, I certainly hope I haven't caused you any embarrassment, you so and so." "I wonder if my tie's on straight. I certainly upset them, don't I? Now who else is after me?" Ah, the lady champion wrestler, wouldn't she make a houseful? Oh, you don't like her either. Well, what are you going to do about her? Oh, you just can't stand it anymore, you're leaving. These women don't give you a moment's peace, do they? Well, go ahead! Go sulk in your cabin. Go soak your head and see if I care!

• Jean : Boy, would I like to see you givin' some old harpie the three in one!

  'Colonel' Harrington : Don't be vulgar, Jean. Let us be crooked, but never common.

• 'Colonel' Harrington : Ah, there you are. Well, it certainly took you long enough to come back in the same outfit.

  Jean : I'm lucky to have this on. Mr Pike has been up the river for a year.

• Jean : I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames just waiting for you to push 'em around.

  'Colonel' Harrington : You find 'em, I'll push 'em.

• Gerald : D'you want the strippers on the right or the left?

  'Colonel' Harrington : I hardly need them, Gerald. I can take this boy with a deck of visiting cards.

• 'Colonel' Harrington : Are you really in love with this mug?

  Jean : Uh-huh.

  'Colonel' Harrington : Don't you think it a little bit dangerous? I don't mean for us, I mean for your heart. They're apt to be slightly narrow-minded, the righteous people.

• [Jean is crying on her bed] 

  'Colonel' Harrington : My gracious! You know you shouldn't draw to an inside straight.

• [Jean screams upon waking] 

  'Colonel' Harrington : [rushing in]  What's 'e matter?

  Jean : Oh, I'm sorry. That slimy snake! I've been dreaming about him all night.

  'Colonel' Harrington : You mean Pike?

• 'Colonel' Harrington : I don't think you realize the beauty of your situation. You're holding a royal flush.

  Gerald : You've got him right by the ears.

  'Colonel' Harrington : You know, I had nothing to do with this arrangement. But now that you're in it, you might as well go...

• 'Colonel' Harrington : The trouble with people who reform is, they always want to rain on everybody else's parade, too.

• Jean : I don't know why it is, but a sucker always steps on your feet.

  'Colonel' Harrington : A mug is a mug in everything.

• 'Colonel' Harrington : Greetings, my little minx. I hope I find you well and that your little pal hasn't fallen overboard.

  Gerald : With our $600.

• 'Colonel' Harrington : [Hurrying into her room after Jean screams]  What's the matter?

  Jean : Oh, I'm sorry. That slimy snake. I've been dreaming about him all night.

  'Colonel' Harrington : You mean Pike?

  Jean : No. His reptile. He travels with a snake act.

• Jean : I think Charles is in love with me.

  Gerald : No?

  Jean : Yes.

  'Colonel' Harrington : Of course he's in love with you. Who is he not to be in love with you who have beautified the North Atlantic?

• 'Colonel' Harrington : That's the tragedy of the rich - they don't need anything.

• 'Colonel' Harrington : There's as fine a specimen of the sucker sapiens as I've ever seen.

• Jean : I think he's going to ask me to marry him.

  'Colonel' Harrington : No?

  Gerald : No?

  Jean : Yes.

  Gerald : That's wonderful, Jean.

  'Colonel' Harrington : No wonder you're blushing.

  Jean : Heh.

  'Colonel' Harrington : And that fortunate young man.

  Gerald : Fortunate indeed.

  'Colonel' Harrington : Can't you hear his pulse pounding? His ears must be ringing like telephone bells.

  Gerald : His hands are clammy with excitement.

  'Colonel' Harrington : He won't know an ace from a deuce.

  Jean : You weren't thinking of taking him, Harry?

  'Colonel' Harrington : Well, what were you thinking of?

• 'Colonel' Harrington : Very depressing having your own daughter married, and not be there.

  Gerald : Especially under an assumed name. Is that legal?

  'Colonel' Harrington : Seems to be. Women change their names so much anyway; it doesn't seem to matter.

• 'Colonel' Harrington , Jean : What's the matter with you? They want to make a settlement. They'll give you half when you leave for Reno, and the balance at the end of six weeks. Name your own price. For once, that we have a chance to make some honest money...

  Jean : Oh, tell 'em to go peel and eel.

• Jean : Boy, would I like to see you giving some old harpy the three-in-one.

  'Colonel' Harrington : Don't be vulgar, Jean. Let us be crooked, but never common.