- Moe: [Larry uses boiling water to unglue his mouth] What are you trying to do, boil me? Do you think I'm a lobster?
- Larry: [getting eye-poked] Oh, wait a minute.
- Moe: I'll gouge your eyes...
- Larry: [blocking a second eye-poke, then laughing] I fooled him.
- Moe: Well, you certainly did. Pardon me.
- Larry: Yes?
- Moe: [eye-poking him again] Get away from here!
- Larry: [ordering room service] Send up a dozen bottles of champagne. A dozen. Dozen! Spell it? Make it twelve instead.
- Moe: Boy, what a beautiful bed. And just what we need, a triple-decker.
- Shemp: I want the upper berth. You get less air up there. Uh, can I get up there? Where's a ladder?
- [seeing Moe bent over, he uses him as a springboard]
- Moe: [holding the small of his back in pain] Ooh!
- Shemp: How I love this pretty bed. Now I'll rest my weary head. Good night.
- [falling backward, the canopy and the bed collapse]
- Shemp: [dazed] What happened?
- Moe: [trapped under a beam] Get this Henry VIII off my neck!
- Shemp: Look! A rowboat.
- Larry: A rowboat? You're crazy. That's a horse trough.
- Moe: Horse trough? Rowboat? In a hotel? You imbeciles. That's a bathtub. Go on, take a bath.
- Larry: Wait a minute. It ain't spring yet.
- Moe: Oh, yes it is. See the grass?
- Larry: Where?
- [looking into the bathroom]
- Larry: You're crazy. That's a bathmat.
- [Moe kicks him in the butt; stumbling forward, he hits the opposite wall]
- Larry: [with his top hat covering his eyes] Oh! Help! Turn on the lights! I can't see anything. It's dark in here! Fellas, help me! I'm going blind!
- Shemp: [pulling the hat off] I'll help you.
- Larry: I can't see. I can't see!
- Moe, Shemp: What's the matter?
- Larry: I have my eyes closed.
- Moe: [eye-poking him] Go on, take a bath.
- Hotel Manager: Gentlemen, if I can be of further service, please call me personally.
- Moe, Larry, Shemp: Thank you.
- Larry: Mr. Personally.
- Moe, Larry, Shemp: [bowing, they conk their heads together] Ooh!
- Moe: You cement head.
- Shemp: Why, that's an insult with me. In my country, that's an insult.
- [taking a glove from his jacket pocket, he slaps Moe in the face]
- Moe: On guard.
- Shemp: I got it.
- [they begin "sword fighting" with their cigars]
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