- Kitty Riley: What can I do for you? I'm Mrs. Radek's secretary.
- Marshovian Ambassador: Our mission is private. I represent...
- Kitty Riley: I'm her private secretary.
- Marshovian Attache: And, personal. He...
- Kitty Riley: I'm her personal secretary.
- Marshovian Ambassador: We should have to talk to her privately and personally. You see this matter is confidential.
- Kitty Riley: I'm her confidential secretary, too. Confidentially, I suggest that you write for a personal appointment and state your private business.
- Crystal Radek: Where did you ever get off a train and find all the people singing and dancing? Not in Hoboken, where I come from.
- Kitty Riley: No. Not in Yonkers either.
- King's Servant: In Marshovia, the right train always comes the wrong time.
- Mitzi, Servant Girl: It's cruel to order a man to make love.
- King of Marshovia: This is a command Danilo! You will woo and wed the widow Radek.
- Count Danilo: I may wed her, your majesty; but, I won't woo!
- Crystal Radek: I've had enough of this place. I want to be treated like a person, not a cash register.
- Gypsy Girl: I can tell the rest of your fortune too. You're about to be in trouble with a big, fat King.
- Kitty Riley: Teaches you one thing: when they start kissing your hand, hold on to your bracelet.
- Crystal Radek: Oh, Kitty, you're always suspicious of people.
- Kitty Riley: Not people, just men!
- King of Marshovia: You're just like your father.
- Count Danilo: My father, sir? Your brother.
- King of Marshovia: And just like your grandfather!
- Count Danilo: Your father.
- King of Marshovia: Oh, I know. I know. That's the trouble with your side of the family. I wonder why I put up with you?
- Count Danilo: I'm a relative, sir.
- King of Marshovia: What are you good for anyway? Nothing! Except to run around after women.
- Count Danilo: I don't run after them, sir. They run after me. It's the family curse.
- Crystal Radek: Be firm! Hard!
- Kitty Riley: Hard as steel.
- Crystal Radek: Oh, they're full of hot air, those Marshovians. Don't melt!
- Kitty Riley: Cold as ice.
- Crystal Radek: And when you see Danilo, rip him apart!
- Kitty Riley: Like a tiger.
- Count Danilo: Haven't I met you before?
- Crystal Radek: [pretending to be Fifi, Maxim Dancer] if you had, you'd remember me.
- Crystal Radek: You must admit he's handsome.
- Kitty Riley: Now that you mention it, he is. Very handsome.
- Crystal Radek: Well, maybe that's important to you; but, it isn't to me. The most important thing in a man is character.
- Kitty Riley: It is? I mean - it is.
- Count Danilo: What's your name?
- Crystal Radek: [pretending to be Fifi, Maxim Dancer] Fifi!
- Count Danilo: You're the freshest Fifi I ever met.
- Baron Popoff: What is being in love with one woman got to do with being married to another? Especially a rich one.
- Baron Popoff: Perfect. Charming, handsome, distinguished. Yes, I like that slight air of secret sorrow. Women love a man who suffers.
- Police Sergeant: Long legs.
- Count Danilo: Yeah, how did you know?
- Police Sergeant: All American women have long legs. From the waist down, the American woman is incomparable. From the waist up, the advantage is all with the French women.
- Count Danilo: Oh, I assure you, Sergeant, from the waist up she's completely French.
- Crystal Radek: He was the maddest king I ever saw.
- Kitty Riley: Heads will roll.
- Crystal Radek: Heads will roll. What does that mean?
- Kitty Riley: Oh, it's just and expression.
- Crystal Radek: But, they have some funny customs in Marshovia. Heads will roll.
- Kitty Riley: Oh, don't be silly. They stopped chopping heads off 200 years ago.
- Crystal Radek: They're awfully backward in Marshovia.
- Crystal Radek: For the first time he stood on his own two feet and spoke out like a man.
- Marshovian Ambassador: Forgive him, madam, he's no diplomat.
- Crystal Radek: Diplomat? It never occurred to you two that you cannot tell anyone whom to love and whom to hate. And you are the biggest idiots in the diplomatic service!