Carol Channing: Molly Wade

The First Traveling Saleslady

Molly Wade

Molly Wade: Pardon me, but, what is a Rough Rider?
[Lt. Rice get's an application]
Molly Wade: Don't be silly, I don't want to join. I can't even ride smooth. What's your name?
Lt. Jack Rice, Roughrider: Jack Rice.
Molly Wade: You're handsome. And brave too I'll bet. You like girls?
Lt. Jack Rice, Roughrider: Yes, ma'am.
Molly Wade: Well, I'm a girl.
Lt. Jack Rice, Roughrider: [Grinning] You sure are.

Molly Wade: [singing] Now, a corset can do a lot for a lady, Especially when the lady's got a lot, And a lady can do a lot for that corset, By fillin' in the bottom and top, First, you push it up here, You pull it down there, You tighten up the middle till you're gaspin' for air, Oh! a corset can do a lot for a lady, Cause it helps to show a man what she's got, Now, a corset can do a lot for a lady, Whenever a lady wants what she ain't got, Oh, with a little manipulation, that corset, Can change her into something she's not...

Miss Rose Gillray: Molly, I guess it's really my fault that you had to leave New York. Why don't you come with me? I'm sort of selling my way West and you could help. Huh?
Molly Wade: Skinny-ma-rinky-dink! You do the selling, I'll do the modeling! And before we're through, we'll have every squaw wearing a Gillray corset under her blanket.

Molly Wade: Who said anything about backing down? I'm just worried about how I'll look in barbed wire.
Miss Rose Gillray: Well, I'll design something pretty for you.

Molly Wade: Rose, I'm scared.
Miss Rose Gillray: For what? We meet him. We charm him. Then, we set him up for the kill.
Molly Wade: The kill? I just want to know who's gonna kill who.

Joel Kingdom: Is something wrong, ma'am?
Molly Wade: I just thought that gun was loaded.
Joel Kingdom: Well, it is. But, don't let that worry you. I haven't shot myself a pretty gal in a heap of years.

George the Headwaiter: These oysters were brought down from Chicago in kegs of ice, Mr. Kingdom.
Joel Kingdom: That's good, George.
George the Headwaiter: And that wine came straight from Bordeaux, France.
Molly Wade: Don't you grow anything here yourself?

Molly Wade: You know something, for a shy man, when that Jack Rice says goodbye, it's almost like saying hello.

Miss Rose Gillray: I'm running short of corset stays.
Charles Masters: Well, maybe, someday.
Molly Wade: Maybe, someday, what?
Charles Masters: Maybe someday Miss Gillray will let a man give a helping hand. Well, keep smiling.

Molly Wade: What's that noise?
Miss Rose Gillray: Oh, no! It couldn't be! Only Charlie Masters could make a noise like that.

Joel Kingdom: [to Rose] Doggone it, I've been waitin' years for a gal like you.
Molly Wade: You mean you're not going to have us killed?
Joel Kingdom: Well, I kinda figured to kill the salesman, Miss Molly, and spare the woman.
Miss Rose Gillray: You might find it a little difficult to separate one from the other.
Joel Kingdom: Oh, there's nothin' to it, honey. You just encourage one and discourage the other.

Miss Rose Gillray: The women! We'll sell to the women and they, in turn, will sell to their men!
Molly Wade: How can the women sell barbed wire to their husbands?
Miss Rose Gillray: Well, it's a simple fact of life. They make their pitch when sales resistance is at its lowest.

Charles Masters: Don't worry. I sent it by special messenger - an Indian named Straight Arrow.
Molly Wade: Well, if you can't trust a man named Straight Arrow, I guess you can't trust anybody.
Charles Masters: Right and he'll be off tomorrow as soon as he steals a horse.

Charles Masters: Oh, come on, Rose, you're bucking nature. Men are men and women are women.
Molly Wade: The honest truth. I wouldn't change it for the world.